


The stargazer and the Toolmaker

by Taylor Dancinghands (tdancinghands)



Series: Clan of the Cave Geeks [1]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe - Prehistoric, First Time, Friendship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-05
Updated: 2012-05-05
Packaged: 2017-11-04 21:23:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 38,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/398341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tdancinghands/pseuds/Taylor%20Dancinghands
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It is the dawn of the bronze age.  For most of the inhabitants of western Europe, nothing has changed for thousands of years, and nothing will change in their lifetimes, but there will always be some few, who look to the future, and change, discontent with things as they are.  At a time when written language is unknown, and written numbers a vague idea, newly making its impact on pre-civilized man, two men who would use such tools to forge a new future, chance to meet.</p><p>OR</p><p>What does a bonafide genius do in an era of stone knives and bear skins?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This all started one day when I asked myself the questions which I pose in the story summary, but I *never* in a million years thought I would actually write this thing. (I disdained all A/Us at the time, neither reading nor writing them. Things changed somewhat after this story.) Then, during one long, sleepless night brought about by a case of intercontinental jet lag, the whole thing just sort of played itself out on the inside of my eyelids. Given my unique circumstances at the time, there really wasn't anything else I could do *but* write it all down.
> 
> Warnings: Sloppy Paleolithic history, anachronistic technological leaps and funnied up names.

The sound of uncertain steps approaching along the uneven track that led to his humble dwelling roused Rodne from his ruminations, and he was not at all pleased to be so roused. 

“Oh for pity sake,” he yelled, before he could even see the approaching unfortunate. “I don’t know how much clearer I can make it. If there is _no_ goatskin draped over the tree branch at the bottom of the trail then there are _no_ consultations today. Surely that's simple enough for even you people!"

"Ah… forgive me…" replied an unfamiliar voice, "but I am not from these parts and am, unfortunately, not acquainted with local customs. Also… I fear I am lost. Am looking for village of Lakeside?"

Thrusting his head impatiently past the hide curtain at the opening of his cave, Rodne glared out at the stranger on his doorstep. He was a small man, slightly built with shaggy unkempt brown hair, and he carried a slender walking stick and a bulging pack. Though his shoulder length hair was unbound and blew every which way in the light mountain breeze, his beard was neatly braided. Likewise, though his only visible garment was a single tattered and badly stained hide with a hole in the center through which his head poked, his pack was carefully and neatly bound. Scratching his own shaggy and ill ordered beard, Rodne tried to judge the character of the man. His look seemed fairly guileless, and his eyes, when the Rodne finally got a good look at them, seemed a pale clear blue, but it was difficult to tell as the man kept blinking and squinting.

"Yes, you are lost," Rodne confirmed, having decided that it was safe to insult the man, "and also exceptionally feeble minded to have taken the turn-off that led here rather than staying on the main track that _would_ have taken you to Lakeside. Now, go back the way you came, turn _left_ at the tree that _doesn't_ have a goatskin hanging on it, and be on your way."

Instead of doing as he was told, however, the small man on Rodne's doorstep fidgeted with his walking stick for a moment and then cleared his throat to speak again.

"I…I am very sorry to be intruding but I… I do not see so well… and my guide ran off two days ago. Is why I made wrong turn, no doubt, but… I fear sun is setting shortly and I… I have many fine things to trade, if you would be so kind as to allow me to stay here for night?"

Rodne had taken some pains to see to it that his ill temper and poor hospitality were well known in the area, which suggested that this fellow was indeed from far away. He had an odd way of speaking as well, and did something curious with all his 'r's. As little as Rodne desired company, however, it was not in him to put a blind man out on a bad path just before dark. Perhaps if the man really did have anything worth trading, Rodne thought, he could insist on such unfair compensation that he might add to his own unsavory reputation. It would be worth a look, anyhow.

"All right," he said, with as much ill grace as he could muster. "Let's see what you've got." Rather than inviting the man in, Rodne came out, laying down the ox hide he generally used for consultations. The stranger unshouldered his pack and sat with evident relief, then opened the pack to extract a small, carefully wrapped bundle. This he unrolled on the hide between where they sat and Rodne regarded what was revealed, schooling his featured to indifference.

This was not so easy as it might have been, for what he beheld was really very fine –possibly the most skillfully knapped flint tools Rodne had ever seen.

"Naturally, I have no need for weapons," he began, dismissing a number of wonderfully lethal looking spear points.

"Of course," said the man agreeably, "but perhaps you have use for a hide scraper, or this cooking knife? It is one of my best."

It certainly was a beautiful piece, with an elegantly curved blade and a smooth solid hand grip. It would be excessive to ask for such a thing in exchange for a place on his hearth for a single night so, of course, Rodne chose it.

"I suppose I could use this," he said, feeling a twinge of guilt in spite of his determination to demand outrageous compensation. "But that's just for one night, and I'm not feeding you."

"Thank you," said the man with what seemed sincere gratitude. "It is all I ask and I will be on my way in the morning, you can rest assured."

"You'd better be," Rodne muttered as he stood , holding open the door flap for the man to gather his belongings. Scooping up the ox hide as his guest entered, Rodne followed him in and then made his way to the fire pit set along one wall of his cave, under an opening that served as a smoke hole. He prodded the fire to life and added more fuel, unable to prevent himself from displaying at least that much hospitality. His guest settled gratefully by the fireside, extracting a bit of sheepskin from his pack, to sit on.

"I am R'dek," he said, gazing across at Rodne in the firelight. "May I know your name?"

"Rodne," said Rodne, casting his eyes over to the piece of slate upon which he had been figuring when R'dek had first appeared. He'd intended to rudely return to this task as soon as his guest had settled, but found his curiosity getting the better of him. "What brings you to Lakeside anyway?"

"I am told that there is a place near there where I can dig for flints," he said, drawing a small pouch out of his pack from which he took a handful of what appeared to be a mixture of nuts, seeds, and dried berries. "Do you know if this is so?" He offered the pouch to Rodne as he asked.

Rodne took a small handful and munched cautiously, but found the stuff quite tasty. "Yeah," he answered R'dek's question around the mouthful of food. "East of town a little way. You show 'em what you make and they'll send someone's kid to take you there."

"Good," said Radek, taking another handful from the pouch as Rodne handed it back to him. "I'm glad to hear you say so. More than once I have traveled great distance in search of such a resource only to find that I had been told a tale, or that it no longer exists."

R'dek set the pouch of seeds and fruit down between them and returned to his pack to extract a bundle in which was wrapped some of strips of dried meat. As before, he offered one to Rodne, who took it without hesitation.

Once again, Rodney found himself contending with unaccustomed feelings of guilt. By rights he ought to have been satisfied to accept these food offerings in exchange for a night's lodging, though R'dek seemed to think nothing of the prize he had given away. It was this that moved Rodne, in the end, to offer a favor without being asked, as out of character as that was for him.

"Listen," he said, chewing away at the meat R'dek had given him, "I need to head down to the village for a few supplies anyhow, and I might as well go tomorrow. That way you won't have to worry about getting lost again."

The look of relief and gratitude on the man's face was almost painful to behold. "Thank you my friend," he said, "with all my heart. I fear I was very lucky to have found you at all, the path is so little traveled, and I was dreading having to find my way back down it."

"I'll bet," said Rodne, nodding. "Where are you from anyhow? I've never heard anyone who spoke the way you do before."

"I am not surprised," said R'dek. "I have been working my way westwards for many years now. To the south a little too, to seek warmer climate, yes? But mostly I travel west."

"Any particular reason?" Rodne asked around another mouthful of dried fruit and seeds.

"When I am young, raiders come to our village, and others nearby, from the east, always," R'dek answered. "Every year they take more, destroy more, kill more. As soon as I am old enough to leave, I do, along with many others. Most people find a place to settle at last, but not I."

"How come?" Rodne asked, succumbing completely to his curiosity.

"Farmers settle, fishermen settle, but I am toolmaker," explained R'dek. "I must travel to trade, to find needed materials, and I lean new ways to make tools as well. Also, I learn of new kinds of tools. The more I travel, the more I learn, and now I have gotten in the habit."

"Even though you don't see so well?" Rodne asked.

R'dek shrugged. "Usually is not hard to find a guide in exchange for trade goods, and usually guide does not run off before he is paid."

"So what happened this time?"

Again R'dek shrugged. "He was young –too young it would seem. Also, he listens to too many ghost stories. Somewhere he hears that the pass is haunted by witches. He hears a wildcat singing late one night and the next morning he is gone," he said.

Rodne snorted with disdain. "Gods, people are ignorant," he said.

"How can they not be?" R'dek asked philosophically. "For farmers, fishermen and the like, life is only toil and sleep. When is there time to question, to explore, to learn better?"

"Well, _I_ managed, and so apparently have you," Rodne pointed out.

"Yes, but I am not farmer or fisher, and neither it would seem, are you," R'dek replied. "Though I am curious as to what you do here?"

"Nothing as useful as you," said Rodne, looking guiltily over at his fine, new cooking knife.

"But what are these 'consultations' you spoke of earlier?" R'dek asked.

Rodne ran his fingers though his roughly cropped hair in embarrassment. "It's how I put food in my belly and clothes on my back, but it's really just a… side line to what I'm here for. I've been studying the stars for years –decades really." Rodne waited then for either the ridicule or dismissal that generally followed this confession, but R'dek did neither of these things. Instead he blinked thoughtfully and shook his head.

"I, of course, have not seen the stars since I was quite young," he said eventually, "but I am curious to know what there is to study about them?"

So unaccustomed was he to anyone actually taking an interest in his lifelong passion that Rodne found himself tongue-tied for a moment. "Well for starters," he said at last, "they all move -all but one. You knew that, right?"

Radek nodded. "I have heard this, and have many times wished that I could see that unmoving star," he said. "I would have less need of guides then, perhaps?"

"Mmm, probably," said Rodne, "but what I've discovered is that, among the stars that move, not all of them move the same. There's seven of them that are different. They shine more steadily, some of them have a little color, and they move differently across the sky than the others. There's a pattern to how they move, too, and that's what I've been studying."

"That is most intriguing," commented R'dek, much to Rodne's delight. "I wish I could see them even more now."

"It's not so much that there's anything special to see," Rodne consoled, "they're still just little specks of light in the sky like you probably remember, but what I look for is how those seven special stars move in relation to the others, and to each other. See, the regular stars are always in the same spot in relation to the others, and they can be seen in the same… formations every night. To help keep them straight I've… kind of made up names for the shapes they seem to form –like different kinds of animals… Sorry, I'm not boring you am I?"

It wasn't that R'dek looked bored, but Rodne had never gotten this far describing his passion without eliciting yawns from his audience before, and he wanted to be sure that R'dek wasn't merely being polite.

"Definitely not," said R'dek sincerely. "Once, some years ago, I chanced to meet a traveler from far to the south who spoke of such things, and I went two days out of my way to spend more time with him. He also spoke of something he called 'number marks' that he was using to keep track of these movements."

"Really?" cried Rodne. "That's amazing, because I heard about the same thing myself, years ago, and I've been using them too. Here…" Rodne reached back to fetch out the marked up slate he'd been figuring on, to show R'dek.

"See, that's how many days it takes for the green star to cross the group of regular stars I call 'the bear', and here's how many it took the red star… and here's for the one I call 'the fast one', because it is…" Rodne hesitated then. "Sorry, can you see any of this?"

"I can, thank you," R'dek smiled. "Things close up, like my tools, I can see quite well." He perused Rodne's figures with real interest. "But what does this mean here?" he asked.

"Ah," said Rodne with excitement, "sometimes these special stars don't more forward at all. Sometimes they seem to stop for a while, and sometimes they actually move backwards. I've watched long enough that I can actually predict when that's going to happen, but what I haven't figured out yet is why."

"You can predict this?" R'dek was astonished, as anyone ought to have been, but no one actually had been before.

"Sure," said Rodne with pride. "Like I said, there's patterns to all this, and by watching the sky for years I've figured out a lot of them."

"This is no small accomplishment," said R'dek. "Not even my traveler from the south made such claims."

Rodne shrugged. "Well, it's been a life's work, but to be honest, you're the first person I've ever met who saw the worth of it. Everyone else just wants to know what else I can predict about the future."

"Ah," said R'dek sympathetically, "this would be subject of your 'consultations,' I take it?"

Rodne sighed. "I've told them again and again that I don't know a damned thing about the future, but still they come and ask, 'where will the stars be when the planting starts, or when my baby is born?' and sure, I can tell them, but then they want to know what it *means*."

"Means?" asked R'dek.

"Everything is some sort of omen for these people," Rodne explained. "They think the green star brings peace and that the red one brings war and the fast one… I forget now. For years I tried to tell them that it didn't mean anything –that it just meant that that's where the stars will be when your kid is born or whatever… But then… well, they bring more food and stuff when I tell them some nonsense about how their baby will be a great hunter or that this will be a good year for beans… I got hungry, you know?"

"There is no shame in doing what you must to stay alive, Rodne," R'dek consoled. "Particularly if you do work such as this while you live. You should not give it up."

The two men continued to talk well into the night and the next morning they left for the village together and they talked all the way. Sometimes it was Rodne expounding further on his theories on stellar motion, and sometimes it was R'dek, recounting the different tool making techniques he had learned and the different sorts of technologies he had seen employed in his travels. It was a two day journey from Rodne's cave to the village of Lakeside and they spent the night at the camp site Rodne customarily used on his trips to town. The late autumn weather was remarkably fair and pleasant and again the two of them talked and talked until their camp fire had burned down to a few coals.

Never had the trip passed so quickly for Rodne, and he was almost sorry when the lake and the cluster of huts on its shore came into view.


	2. Chapter 2

It was sufficiently unusual for Rodne to arrive in the village in the company of another traveler that a small crowd, including the village headwoman, Li'bet, had gathered by the time they reached the village center. Caresn, the village healer, and the one person in the village Rodne might have deigned to call friend, was there as well, smiling happily to see Rodne again.

Rodne appreciated Caresn's work as an herbalist, for he had extensive knowledge of the many plants that might be found hereabouts, and from afar as well, that could be used in healing or curing various ailments. There were other parts of Caresn's practice that troubled Rodne somewhat, however. When he deemed that the occasion required it, Caresn would enter a trance and call upon what he referred to as his 'animal helper spirit' (named 'Turtur') in order to exact a cure. Rodne was highly dubious about this practice and its efficacy, and challenged Caresn about it frequently, but the healer took it with good grace and gave back as good as he got.

Though most of the men of village were out hunting, the women and elder folk were all keenly interested in the tools that R'dek had to trade, and the children were all clamoring to hear his tales from afar, as they did with all newcomers in the village. Seeing that R'dek was as ill disposed to deal with youngsters as he, himself was, Rodne drove them off with promises of stories later.

Rodne could not help but admire R'dek's skill as a trader, as the women of Lakeside all crowded around, vying for a crack at one of his hide scrapers or cooking knives (none quite as nice as the one Rodne had gotten, though). He made deals for food, hides, and other useful items for the tools he had, and then made further deals of promised trade goods for promised tools. It was clear that R'dek had enough business to keep him in Lakeside for a good spell, and Rodne was happy to see it.

While R'dek was busy trading, Caresn directed Rodne to a couple of women who were newly expecting children and wanted consultations from him. In trade, Rodne negotiated for a basket full of dried fruit and a promise of firewood to be delivered later in the month, both things he would be very glad of when the winter came. 

It was late enough, by the time he finished, that he knew it would be wisest to spend the night at Lakeside and depart for his cave in the morning. On occasions such as this he usually slept in Caresn's hut and Caresn was generally pleased to have him. R'dek, as did most visitors, would be sleeping in the bachelor's lodge, where all of the village's adult men lived until they came into a family. Caresn was an exception, as it was generally understood that he was a 'backwards man' and extremely unlikely to ever have a wife or children, but he did merit a hut of his own because he was a healer.

Rodne knew that being a frequent and welcome guest in Caresn's house resulted in some speculation among the villagers about his own possible 'backwardness', but the other men known to spend the odd night in the healer's hut tended to be young and very muscular, so opinion remained divided. Rodne was entirely pleased to be regarded as a man of mystery and not at all pleased to clarify anything about himself for anyone else.

Rodne left the village first thing after breakfast the next morning, though not before bidding farewell to R'dek and astonishing himself by insisting that the man stop at his cave once again before leaving the area. Rodne _never_ invited people to his lonely home and wondered, all the way back to it, what had gotten into him.

~*~

He continued to wonder as the days passed, and after a double handful of days had gone by Rodne found that the little toolmaker was still occupying his thoughts. Not only was R'dek still taking up space in his mind, Rodne found, to his dismay, he was actually _fretting_ about the man. Had he found the flint supply he'd hoped to find? Had they been the right sort of flints? Had whatever child the village had sent to guide him done a good job? Did he understand that the man couldn't see and would get lost without a guide?

Did R'dek know that winter was coming and that if he was going to find himself elsewhere before the weather turned that he had best leave very soon? Or was he planning in over-wintering in Lakeside? It made sense to Rodne that if R'dek had, indeed, found a good supply of flints, he might want to spend the winter in the village, making tools from the materials he'd found, and then move on to trade them in the spring, but was this R'dek's plan? Not knowing the answers to these questions bothered him, and having them prey on his mind constantly bothered him more. It was ruining his concentration, and eventually Rodne was forced to the conclusion that he was going to have to find out the answers to these questions himself or he would never know another moment's peace.

He was, understandably, in a poor mood, the day he set off for the village once again, and spent half the journey composing the angry speech he had to deliver to R'dek for worrying him so, and the other half imagining what an idiot he would look like when he showed up to find R'dek happily knapping flints by the village's central fire pit. In the end, however, neither eventuality proved out, for R'dek was not in the village when Rodne arrived.

"He went off to the flint banks with Yinte, four days ago," said Li'bet when Rodne demanded to know where he'd gone. "I don't imagine he'll be back for a few days yet. He said that when he finds the kind of flints he's looking for he likes to take his time choosing the best ones."

"Headwoman, Li'bet?" A little girl was suddenly there, tugging on the village leader's hand. "Yinte came back this morning. He said that the tool maker told him to go."

"What?" snapped Rodne, loudly enough that the little girl ducked to hide behind the headwoman. "Why?"

"I imagine you'd have to ask Yinte," said Li'bet with unfailing patience. "Though he may not know either. I expect that the toolmaker decided that he was fine on his own."

"He's not fine on his own!" sputtered Rodne "He got _lost_ on the trail to Lakeside, and there's hardly any path at all to the flint banks."

"Rodne, I don't know what to say," Li'bet began, when they both paused. The wind had shifted, and the new wind brought with it a sharp chill and just the slightest scent of snow.

"Crap," said Rodne, looking up at the sky to see what portents it held. There was not a cloud in it, but Rodne knew, as did all the residents of Lakeside, that tonight would be bitterly cold and tomorrow would bring the first snowfall of the year. It was early, but there was no mistaking the signs.

"He'll never find his way back in time," said Rodne. "He probably has no idea that he even needs to yet."

"I can send Yinte after him," offered Li'bet. "At least he knows where he was last."

"Yes, by all means send the child that abandoned him in the first place," snapped Rodne, drawing his extra sheepskin up over his shoulders, "But if it's all the same to you, I think I'll go find him myself."

"Rodne!" cried Li'bet with exasperation.

"That man is _far_ too useful to leave his life in the hands of a child," shouted Rodne as he headed off, leaving the headwoman to make whatever plans she liked.

Rodne had not, himself, been out to the flint banks in a couple of years, but he was confident that he'd be able to find them again without difficulty. The trouble was that they ran on for some distance to the north and south and it was a guess as to which direction Radek had followed them. Yinte might have been able to tell him, of course, but Rodne had no faith that the child would be able to give him any useful information. Instead, Rodne considered what he knew about the qualities of the flints found along the length of the banks and what qualities he'd seen in the tools R'dek had made.

From this Rodne drew the conclusion that R'dek would likely have found the flints at the northern end of the banks the most to his liking, and so struck out across country to seek him there. It was dusk before Rodne came to the edge of the outcropping, and therefore difficult to tell, in the crepuscular light, if there was any evidence of the man working there. He had not gone more than a few dozen paces to the north, however, before he found fresh traces of digging, easy to spot even in the uncertain light.

As the sun set the chill wind picked up and turned bitter and Rodne considered that he, himself, was not altogether prepared for this change in the weather. R'dek, he was quite sure, would be even less prepared, and unlikely to make it through the night without aid, much less through the coming day, which was sure to bring with it some serious snowfall. With this in mind Rodne paused in his search long enough to find some of the bread and cheese he had stashed in the pouch he generally carried with him, and consumed it as he walked.

His task actually became somewhat easier as the sun set fully and the moon rose, for it was a nearly full moon in a crystal clear sky and just about as light as day. He continued to see signs if recent digging as he went as well, letting him know that he was on the right track. The moon had reached its zenith, however, and was well on its way towards the western horizon, before Rodne finally spotted R'dek.

The man had at least had the native sense to find himself shelter on the leeward side of a small ridge, but the flinty soil supported nothing big enough to produce firewood and so R'dek was shivering away in the dark, without proper shelter or heat. Rodne made no effort to disguise the sound of his footsteps as he approached and as he did he saw R'dek look up sharply, no doubt expecting someone, or something, far less friendly.

"Rodne?" he gasped as he drew close enough for the half blind toolmaker to see him. "What are you doing here?"

"Saving your sorry butt is what," snapped Rodne. "C'mon, get up. You can't stay here."

"What? Why not?" shivered R'dek.

"Because it's only going to get colder, and then it's going to snow," said Rodne. "I'd take you back to the damn village, which is what your guide _would_ have done if you hadn't sent him away, but at this point my cave is actually marginally closer, so that's where we're going to try to get to before we both freeze to death."

"I don't understand," said R'dek, though he was struggling to his feet at least.

"That's because you are an _idiot_ ," said Rodne. "Why, by all the gods, did you send Yinte back?"

"He was bored," said R'dek, gathering up his pack. "I thought I would be here for a day or two at least, and had no need of guide. I did tell him to come back in two days."

"And you thought he'd remember?" said Rodne. "Kids get bored. It's their lot in life and they need to deal with it, and if you hadn't sent him back to the village, even Yinte would have recognized a snow wind and told you to head back to the village yesterday."

"Ah," said R'dek, a little disconsolately.

Rodne had neither the time nor attention for R'dek's dispirited mood, for he was going by dead reckoning over trackless territory in poor light, and trying to move as quickly as possible. It was not easy going and R'dek was only barely able to keep up. Dawn came eventually, bringing with it both good news and bad.

The good news was that Rodne recognized some of the landmarks on the horizon and could confirm that they had indeed been going in the right direction. The bad news came in the form of the first few snowflakes scudding across their path, heralds of more to come. By midmorning the snow was falling in earnest, and Rodne dragged another hunk of bread and cheese from his shoulder bag to share with R'dek, because he could do so without stopping. R'dek's food was all bundled neatly in the man's pack and would cost precious minutes to extract.

By late afternoon the snow was laying in a thin blanket over every part of the landscape and it was fortunate that they were finally on territory Rodne knew well. R'dek was stumbling badly now as he walked and Rodne eventually had to resort to holding the man up, arm over his shoulder, as they went. Rodne no longer felt guilty about the cooking knife.

It was near dusk when they finally came into view of Rodne's cave, and for a happy wonder, Rodne found that some of the firewood he had traded for at his last visit to the village had been delivered and stacked neatly by the entrance. He all but dragged R'dek inside, as he had been all but dragging the man for the last little while, and dropped him on the bundle of furs and mounded up dry grass that he called a bed. Rodne was himself shaking so badly that he could barely manage to coax his carefully banked fire back to life without extinguishing it, but manage he did, and then stumbled back to collapse into the bed beside R'dek. The man lay where Rodne had dropped him, barely moving. He was not even shaking with the cold.

It came to him then that he had heard from Caresn, on at least one occasion, that a man who is so cold that he has gotten past shivering is in a very bad way indeed. "Dammit," Rodne muttered, struggling to rouse himself enough to rouse the toolmaker, but he only mumbled unintelligibly in response.

It was some effort to get the man's pack off him. "Oh, for gods' sake it's full of rocks!" Rodne grumbled as he worked out why it was so heavy. Then he labored to remove R'dek's garment, which was frozen stiff. R'dek's skin, beneath the hide, was hardly any warmer, and the man was breathing far too lightly and rapidly. This was very bad, indeed, and Rodne didn't need any instruction from Caresn to tell him so.

He didn't need any instruction from Caresn to tell him what he needed to do, either. Still shivering, though the fire was starting to warm the space up a bit, Rodne slipped his own garments off and wrapped them around the two of them, then pulled the very warmest of his furs over them as well. At first R'dek responded not at all and Rodne felt a sick worry begin to eat at him.

"Come on, R'dek," he murmured, pulling the man's freezing body closer to his warm one. "You are way too damned useful to die like this." For many heartbreaking minutes there was nothing, and then, at last, the man in his arms trembled and began to shiver.

"That's it," Rodne murmured. "That's the idea." And he continued to hold the man tight as his shivers turned to shudders so violent that he moaned softly from time to time. Time passed, and slowly but surely the body in his arms moved from cold and inert to warm and lively. Eventually the tremors gradually subsided, and the little toolmaker sleepily reached his own arms around Rodne's body and held him close, pressing his face and cold nose against Rodne's shoulder.

This was something entirely novel to Rodne's experience. If he reached very far back in his memory, he thought he might remember a time when his own mother had held him in her arms like this, but Rodne wasn't at all sure that it wasn't just wishful thinking. In his adult life there had never been an occasion when he'd been so physically close with another person, not even the few people he'd fucked (or been fucked by).

It was troubling to feel so moved, to feel how precious the life of the man in his arms was to him, and how it touched him when R'dek put his arms around him. Part of him felt wary over the strength of feeling the man invoked in him, but another part had discovered that he was desperate to be touched and held in this way, and he didn't care what the cost might be.

For now, it was more than he could wrap his head around and the events of the last two days had left him exhausted. He felt R'dek's blessedly warm breath against his throat as the man sighed in his sleep and before very long Rodne had joined him.

 

R'dek was not there when Rodne woke, but he was not far. Stirring sleepily, Rodne first noticed that someone had built up the fire again, which was nice, and next, that the person who had presumably done it was sitting with his knees draw up at the edge of Rodne's bed, head bowed and resting on his arms where they crossed over his knees.

"R'dek?" Rodne asked as he sat up, for even half awake Rodne could see that the man seemed wrapped up in misery.

R'dek lifted his head a little, but did not meet Rodne's gaze. "I am so very sorry to have once again intruded into your privacy," he said wretchedly. "And now I owe you my life as well. I promise that I will be off again as soon as it is feasible, but I fear that I will have to ask you to accompany me to the village once again." R'dek sighed miserably and then lifted his head to push his hair out of his eyes.

"I am so tired of being beholden," he confessed unhappily. "For once I would just like to manage on my own. The boy was full of questions and would not settle down, and all I wanted was to do my work in peace and quiet. That was why I sent him away. It was a mistake, of course; I can see that now. I should know by now that it is my lot in life to live at the behest of others. That, or one of these days my defects will kill me, as they almost did yesterday."

"R'dek…" Rodne began, heart aching in a most unaccustomed way to see a man so smart and talented so caught up in misery. It was an instinct that he had not known he had that moved him to reach out and lay a hand on the man's shoulder. R'dek looked up at him sharply at the contact.

"Look," he began again, "for starters, you don't owe me anything. That knife I took off you the first night you spent here more than makes up for any inconvenience I've taken on your part since. I was being a bastard when I took it and, well… I’m sorry about that. Which is not something that anyone usually hears from me."

"No?" said R'dek, who had likely heard as much from the villagers by now and so the question was accompanied by a faint suggestion of a smile.

"No," said Rodne. "See, I don't like people as a general rule, and so I don't tend to care if I'm a bastard to them or not. But this brings me to my second point which is… that you're not like most people. You're smart –really smart. You care about the things I care about, and you're interested in things that are actually worthwhile and interesting, and that makes you completely different from anyone I've ever met in my entire life."

"Truly?" At last Rodne's words seemed to be lifting R'dek's spirits, which was oddly gratifying as he'd never cared if anyone's spirits were lifted before, much less tried to do this himself.

"R'dek," said Rodne, "you're… well you're a shockingly remarkable human being and I can honestly say that I… I don't really mind having you around."

Radek gazed at him, blinking with astonishment, for a long moment. "You are," he finally said, "fairly remarkable yourself, you know."

Rodne shrugged. "Well, it's fairly remarkable that no one has killed me just for being an obnoxious bastard yet," he said. "To be honest, though, I don't know why anyone should care about anything else I've done. I haven't made anyone's life easier. I haven't ever told anyone anything truly useful –in fact I've put food in my belly for the last ten or more winters by telling complete lies, and believe me, there's nothing remarkable about that."

"You are driven to discover the truth, Rodne," R'dek answered him. "Regardless of what people think about you, or of what you've had to do to continue that search. It is farmers and fishermen and hunters who must serve others, but if there were only people like this in the world then there would be no hope that people would ever move beyond superstition and prejudice. It is people like you who may someday achieve this."

"You really think people will ever move beyond what they are now?" Rodne asked skeptically, "'cause I sure don't."

"Perhaps if you had traveled as I have," Radek answered, "you would believe differently. Think of the number marks you have been using. Those marks have the power to change the world when used by men such as you. I have seen it, Rodne. I have seen men build circles of stone which show exactly where the sun will rise on the solstices and equinoxes. That is how I know that what you are doing is terribly important."

"Huh," said Rodne. "I never heard of that. See, that's why I don't mind you hanging around here. I'd never learn stuff like that from anyone else."

"Well then," said R'dek with a grin, which Rodne was more than happy to see. "Perhaps my presence here may actually contribute to your work, rather than distracting you from it."

"Are you kidding?" said Rodne. "You've given me more good ideas in two days than I've had in two years. If you're a distraction, then please distract away. Distract me enough and maybe I _will_ be able to predict the future someday."


	3. Chapter 3

It snowed hard for two more days, and then the sun came out and another two days after that it was all melted. The trail to Lakeside was a muddy mess but Rodne knew it wasn't going to get any better until spring came, and so the two of them set off right away.

No one was more surprised than Rodne to see how many of the residents of Lakeside were actually relieved to see him. They were happy to see R'dek too, but mostly it was the people who were waiting on trades from him that were the most relieved. R'dek was used to this, but Rodne was a bit confounded to learn how well regarded he was, after a fashion. It did seem that many of the villagers worried that if some misfortune befell their fortune teller then it must be some sign that the gods were ill disposed towards the whole community, but more than a few of them, including Li'bet and Caresn, had been genuinely worried about his well being.

The hunters had all returned to Lakeside with the snowfall and Radek found that the bachelors' lodge was rather more crowded and noisome than before. He was happy to accept Caresn's offer of hospitality but that meant that for his first night back in Lakeside he and Rodne would be sharing Caresn's spare palette. Rodne knew that Caresn wouldn't say anything when he saw how closely he and R'dek were snuggled together the next morning, but he did throw them a pleased and indulgent smile to which Rodne replied with a proper scowl.

Rodne did his best to take his leave of the toolmaker in as casual and light hearted manner as possible, but he knew perfectly well that this was only possible because he was aware that R'dek wasn't planning on leaving the village any time soon, certainly not before spring. He had enough raw flints now to keep him busy for many moons, and therefore no reason to leave the village. This was what Rodne silently consoled himself with as he left Lakeside that morning, and how he maintained his peace of mind for the next several handfuls of days.

He had plenty to keep him occupied, as usual. The weather was as clear as he could ever have wished and his observations were as illuminating as always. He even found another companion of sorts.

He had gone out to gather tinder from a large tree near his home which dependably left a generous litter of small, dry twigs beneath it. He approached this tree a bit cautiously as he knew that a small wildcat had made her den beneath its roots and, though it was rather late in the season for this sort of thing, she'd had a litter of kittens some moons ago. She was, naturally, prone to be a bit defensive if she was around, but as often as not she was out hunting and so Rodney was free to collect tinder at his leisure.

Today, however, Rodney found a scene of carnage at the base of the tree. The wildcat's tracks, easy to spot with fresh snow on the ground, were mixed and blotted out with the distinctive tracks of a wolf, and the white snow was stained with blood here and there.

"Damn," said Rodne to himself, for though he and the wildcat tended to ignore each other most days, Rodne was convinced that her presence in the area kept the vermin in his cave to a minimum. Also, Rodne hated dogs of all sorts with a passion, and wolves definitely fell into that category. As he approached the tree more closely, however, glancing up into its branches to see if there were any good looking twigs that might be easily knocked down, Rodney spotted a lone survivor.

There was no telling how long the kitten had been up that tree, though it seemed possible that the signs of the wolf attack were two days old or more. The creature's instincts had likely compelled it to stay there until its mother returned, with no way of knowing that she was never going to. For long minutes Rodne stood at the base of that tree, his natural survival instincts contesting with the powerful sympathy he felt for orphaned kitten –a creature with whom he had a too much in common.

In the end, Rodne found himself cursing himself for being nine kinds of idiot and, stripping down to only his deer-hide tunic and loincloth and the big hide pouch he'd planned to fill full of tinder, he grasped the bottom branches of the tree and begin pulling himself up it. It had been a good long time since Rodney had climbed a tree, and the stupid kitten was perched more than halfway up this one. It didn't move as Rodne approached, but it did make a spitty, hissing sound as he drew near. There's thanks for you, Rodne thought to himself.

It became evident just how weak the creature was as Rodne drew close enough to grab for it, for it made one half-hearted swipe at him and then promptly lost its grip on the branch it had been clinging to. Rodne managed to catch it before it fell and got a number of long raking scratches down his arm for the trouble –which he was sure would become infected and ultimately lead to his demise. Grasping the weakly struggling creature by the scruff of its neck, Rodne maneuvered it into his bag and began to make his way down again. It was nothing less than a miracle, he was convinced, that he arrived at the bottom in one piece.

The kitten struggled a bit in the bottom of Rodne's carry pouch at first, but not much and so, after wrapping himself once again in his winter garments, Rodney lingered long enough to gather an arm load of tinder before returning to his cave. He did wonder if it might be too late to save the creature that had too quickly subsided in his pouch, but when he set the pouch with the kitten down by his fireside and offered it a piece of his oh-so-precious cheese, the creature ventured forth and gobbled it down.

Next, Rodne heated up some water in order to soften some of the dried meat he had to hand and the kitten made short work of this as well. When it had finally filled its belly to bulging, the kitten stretched, gave itself a cursory wash, and then curled up to sleep on the scrap of sheepskin Rodne laid for it by the fire. Rodne would never admit to anyone how long he waited, in the silence of his cave, to hear the creature purr, nor how happy it made him to hear it.

For more than a handful of days the kitten, who Rodne found himself referring to as Spitt, did little more than sleep, eat his food and piddle in the corner. It was from watching her do this that Rodne determined that Spitt was a 'she', shortly before introducing her to the idea that piddling needed to be done outside. After a some time, however, Rodne noted that the evidence of vermin in his pantry had declined considerably, and came to the conclusion that his investment had been worthwhile.

The moon, as Rodne observed it diligently, passed from new to full to new again and more snow fell and stayed. He and Spitt developed a routine of sorts, which did, of course, involve Spitt curling up next to his face early each morning after her nightly hunt. He watched the stars and discerned yet more of their secrets and filled his life with all the things that had proved more than sufficient to keep him content in the past, and found that now, somehow, it was not.

Ordinarily Rodne thought little of the village and its inhabitants until the approach of midwinter, when he had learned that it was worthwhile to travel there and visit. A few years after he had settled in the cave and become known to the villagers as a 'fortune teller', Rodne had discovered that if he appeared at Lakeside's midwinter festivities he would come away laden with gifts. Giving gifts to a hermit and 'holy man' as some thought of him was, evidently, the equivalent of making offerings to the Gods themselves, and Rodne was hardly going to dissuade them of this notion.

It was R'dek that Rodney mainly found himself thinking about, wondering how he was getting on with Caresn and if he had turned out any more masterpieces like the knife Rodne took pleasure in using most every day. He also, however, found himself thinking of the coming festivities, and how he had come, over time, to enjoy the gathering itself, the storytelling, drinking and feasting and general camaraderie, in spite of how he constantly insisted on how much he detested the company of his fellow man.

He even found himself wondering what kind of gift he could give R'dek, as the exchange of gifts between friends and family was traditional at midwinter, and Rodne considered that R'dek, as a newcomer, would not have all that many friends, or any family in Lakeside. He could always pass on to the man some of the many bountiful presents he was accorded, but that seemed cheap, and besides, the ones who gave him those gifts had intended them for the holy man/hermit, and might take offence at having them delivered to another. What Rodne really wanted, anyway, was to give R'dek something of himself -something that he had done with R'dek in mind, and it took some hard thinking before he figured out what that could be.

Of all the things he did for the villagers, the one that seemed to please people the most was telling them the positions of the stars at the births of their children. Most of them wanted him to give some kind of prediction about their child's character or aptitude as well, but many, Rodne had noticed, were quite pleased just to know where, exactly, the heavens stood at the moment of their infant's birth. Rodne's special genius lay in being able to tell an expectant mother just what this would be, a moon or more before her child's birth (assuming she was accurate in predicting when the child would actually be born), but it dawned on Rodne that it would be no more difficult for him to figure the patterns of the heavens backwards in time than it was to look forward.

Radek had told him, over one of their late night conversations, just how many winters he'd seen and what season he'd been born in, and equipped with that information Rodne was fairly sure he could figure out just where the stars had been on the night of R'dek's birth. It would be a gift of dubious utility, to be sure, but Rodne could not help but think that R'dek would be pleased to have it. It took him three days of figuring, which he could never had done without the use of the number marks, but he did at last arrive at a reasonable approximation of the location of the stars at the time of R'dek's birth. When he had done this, however, it occurred to Rodne that he'd like to have something tangible to give R'dek, so he flattened a bit of birch bark and used the glowing coal at the end of a twig to burn in it a series of number marks and the crude symbols Rodne had derived to stand for the various stars and constellations. No one else would have any idea what the thing was, but he was certain that R'dek would figure it out right away.

Once he had made the thing, of course, Rodne found that he was impatiently eager to give it to R'dek, even though midwinter was nearly two moons away yet. He wrapped it in a scrap of leather and placed it on a ledge of his pantry to keep it from distracting him, but then found himself compelled to check on it nearly every day to assure himself that the mice hadn't got to it (though Spitt had, by now, pretty much eliminated all the mice in his cave).

Rodne also found himself fretting over the upcoming journey to Lakeside, suddenly convinced that this year the weather would be too bad for him to make the journey (though this had happened only once in his memory). Still, every day that dawned with fair weather left Rodne more and more convinced that it was certain to turn just as he was planning on leaving. Rodne wasn't so much concerned for his own sake –the last time everyone had simply saved his gifts for him till he could make it down- but he did want R'dek to have a gift on the day everyone else in the village was exchanging theirs.

The solution, of course, was to make an early trip, on some excuse, and surreptitiously hand the gift off to Caresn, who would see to it that R'dek got it on the day, whether Rodne was there or not. The excuses Rodne cobbled up as he prepared to leave were fairly threadbare -that Spitt had put an unseemly dent in his food supplies and that it was past time for the next load of the firewood he'd bargained for to arrive- but they would have to do, for he could think of no better and he remained convinced that the weather was bound to turn foul any minute.

So certain was he of this that he almost didn't stop for the night on his voyage to Lakeside, but the snow was deep now and hiking though it had left him nearly exhausted and so he thought the better of it. Fortunately the weather remained clear for the rest of his journey and by the time he reached the village Rodne was feeling a little foolish and was keenly aware of just how transparent his excuses were.

"Goodness, Rodne," the headwoman greeted him as she met him at the edge of the village. "I don't think we've ever seen you come down to the village so many times in a single year, much less in a single season. What brings you into town today?"

Rodne managed to make much more fuss about his late firewood delivery than was entirely necessary, but it served to dissuade Li'bet from asking any other questions as she accompanied him to the center of the village. It was downright unsettling to find how happy he suddenly was at the sight of the little toolmaker, contentedly knapping away at the central fire pit, and even more so to feel how his heart was lifted at the sight of the bright smile that broke out on R'dek's face when he spotted Rodne approaching.

"Rodne!" he cried, dropping his tools as he stood to greet him. "I did not expect to see you again until midwinter."

"Yes, well," he said, pulling out his second excuse and trying to dampen the smile that wanted to answer R'dek's. "I, ah, had an unexpected drain on my food supply and figured I'd better come down and restock while the weather was good." Now Rodne launched forth with the story of how he had come to acquire Spitt and before long he had a regular audience, as often happened when he had a tale of any sort to tell. Certainly it did distract everyone from how unnecessary his journey to Lakeside had really been, and when he was finished with the tale he saw that Caresn had been alerted to his presence and come to find him, which suited Rodne's needs perfectly.

"Rodne," he called as the crowd began dispersing, "could I have a word with you?"

This suited Rodne's needs perfectly as well and, reaching into his pouch to find the carefully wrapped piece of birch bark and assure himself that it was still there, he followed the healer back to his hut. Before he could begin with his request, however, he found that Caresn had one of his own.

"I know your privacy is important to you, Rodne," he began, "and if you're dead set against sharing your space with anyone, I suppose I'll understand, but you did seem to be getting along with R'dek so well, I wondered if you might… consider having him stay the rest of the winter with you?"

"Why?" Rodne asked right off. "Isn't he getting along here okay?"

"Oh he gets on with everyone just fine," answered Caresn, "and he's no bother as a houseguest here, for the most part, it's just that… well, I've no privacy to start with." Caresn blushed a bit here. "I mean, Loren's been back in camp for over a moon and there's never been a chance for the two of us… to have some time to ourselves, ye know?"

Loren was the eldest of the men in the bachelor's lodge, and arguably the best hunter in Lakeside. He was also the one person who might be found spending the occasional night in Caresn's hut more frequently than anyone else. Few were willing to gossip about the possible backwardness of the village's best hunter, but no one was really expecting the man to start a family and settle down any time soon, either.

Rodne grimaced with sympathy. He knew his own desire for privacy sprang from a general misanthropy, but Caresn had, well… needs.

"And that's not the only thing," Caresn continued. "I know the man means well, and there's no doubt that he's very good at what he does, but I just can't get him to stop… 'helping'. He's replaced all my cutting tools, which I do appreciate, but I had rather gotten used to the ones I had, ye know. And he keeps tidying up the place. I expect to find things where I've left them, and there's no chance of that ever, now."

Rodne knew well that Caresn the healer was hardly a tidy man, and he'd never minded on the occasions he'd spent sleeping in the man's hut. He'd seen how Caresn always knew where the thing he needed was to be found, whether it was hanging in a neat bundle from his rafters or under a pile of old leather scraps at the foot of his bed. His hut was customarily the most cluttered in all of Lakeside, but he had good reason for his clutter and Rodne could well imagine that having someone around who insisted on ordering it could prove most distressing to the healer.

"I don't want to seem ungrateful," Caresn said unhappily. "And I know he means well. I fear I'd hurt his feelings terribly if I asked him to go back to the bachelor's lodge, but if there was somewhere else he could go where he might feel a bit more welcome…?"

It wasn't that R'dek would be exactly _un_ welcome in the bachelor's lodge, but the place was crowded during the winter months and the young hunters were a rowdy, uncouth and particularly untidy bunch. R'dek might be welcomed there, Rodne knew, but he would not be comfortable, and certainly not for the whole winter. On the other hand, Rodne had enjoyed every minute he'd spent in R'dek's company, and had found his presence in his own home fairly unobtrusive. Rodne wasn't exactly a 'tidy' housekeeper, but he was a person of such few belongings that it hardly made any difference. How would it be to have R'dek living with him for the duration of the winter? Rodne wasn't sure, but the more he thought about it the more it seemed like it might actually be sort of nice. Also, it would make the whole question of delivering Rodne's midwinter gift moot.

"I'll have to think about it," said Rodne. "But I'll let you know before I go, okay?"

"Thank you, Rodne," Caresn said gratefully. "Now, I've heard that you're looking to acquire a bit more food for the winter?" Rodne nodded. "Well it just so happens that Meera, the one who's mate is such a good fisherman, seems to be expecting twins, and that means that she's not as far along as we thought the last time you were here, so she'll be wanting another consultation from you, and since it's twins I'm sure she'll be likely be more than generous in exchange for your time."

She was, in fact, quite generous and Rodne came away from the consultation with a big sack of dried fish and another filled with wild rice. In addition he'd been invited to join the whole family for their evening meal which was bountiful if clamorous, as Meera and Hallen, her husband, already had a fair sized brood already. Rodne had made his escape as soon as it was seemly and made his way to Caresn's hut, where he and R'dek were just finishing their own evening meal in peace and quiet.

Caresn's hut was also, for obvious reasons, the nicest smelling hut in the village and Meera and Hallen's place smelled, well, like young children, which are unavoidably smelly creatures, especially in the winter, when you can't throw them outside to make their messes. Rodne appreciated all of this as he enjoyed a pleasant post-perandial conversation with his two friends and considered what it would be like to enjoy this kind of thing on a daily basis. Caresn was clearly encouraging him to consider this, from the meaningful glances that the healer kept throwing his way throughout the evening, and while it was tempting, Rodne could not help but wonder if it mightn't get tedious if it came every day, rather than being the occasional pleasure he enjoyed now.

Caresn needn't have worried though, because the deciding argument came not as they chatted comfortably around Caresn's small fireplace, but later, as Rodne found himself unable to stop the yawns that interrupted his discourse. He finally declared that he was going out to relieve himself and then avail himself of Caresn's spare bed, as he was accustomed to. It was as R'dek joined him outside on a like mission that Rodne realized that someone else would be sharing that bed with him.

His own body remembered quite fondly how pleasant it was to have R'dek's curled close as he slept, even as he tried hard to quash those memories. The happy light in R'dek's eyes, as the two of them prepared for sleep told Rodne that he, too, looked forward to sharing his bed for a change. There was a knowing smile in Caresn's voice as he bid the two of them goodnight and extinguished the light, and though Rodne struggled for a brief time with his reawakened and overwhelming need for physical closeness, the battle was really lost before it was begun.

The moment he felt R'dek's arms coil around his back, and his cold nose press against his throat, Rodne found his own arms traitorously responding in kind. When he considered the possibility that he could have this every night, there was no debate, really. The only question remaining was what kind of excuse he could make for having R'dek come and join him while keeping his reputation, and self esteem intact. He had a fair strategy assembled by the time he fell asleep.

Caresn was up and bustling about when Rodne and R'dek woke, still snuggled together on the pallet. Rodne could tell that Caresn was biting his tongue to prevent himself from commenting on how adorable they looked, or some such nonsense, and Rodne gave him a dangerous glare when he thought that R'dek wasn't looking. Rodne waited until R'dek had gone outside to relieve himself before turning to Caresn and muttering, "Okay, fine. I'll take him. Just let me do all the talking."

"You know," Rodne started in later, as they were finishing up a breakfast of dried fruit, bread and goat cheese. "I've been hearing some talk among the villagers here that they're worried about what will happen if Caresn needs to treat a sick person in here. Had you heard anything about this?"

Caresn shrugged. "Just a bit," he replied. "I figured that R'dek wouldn't mind spending a few days in the bachelor's lodge if I needed this space for a patient."

"Of course," said R'dek, looking a little troubled.

"Do you think that you'll need to bring Meera here when she has her twins?" Rodne asked.

"Likely not," said Caresn casually. "She's had no trouble with birthing before, and besides, that won't be for several moons yet."

Now R'dek was looking even more troubled.

"And speaking of kids," Rodne continued. "I also heard that you've been having a hard time with some of the village kids bothering you while you worked. Is that true, R'dek?"

Now R'dek shrugged. "It is true that they seem quite curious about what I do," he said reluctantly. "Many are quite admiring, and I don't like to be harsh with them, as I am a guest here and they are the children of my hosts, but I confess, I do wish I was free to work without such attentions from time to time. May I presume that you have a solution to propose, Rodne?"

"As a matter of fact," said Rodne, "I do. How would you like to spend the rest of the winter with me?"

R'dek seemed utterly startled by the idea. "But… what of your privacy? Rodne, I would never wish to impose…"

"You wouldn't be," said Rodne. "Look, what I said before, about your not being like most other people, I meant it. I've never spent time with anyone like you before and after the last few days we spent together…" Now Rodne paused, because this was the honest part of his argument and he'd never in his life confessed such a thing to anyone before. "I guess… I guess I kind of missed you… and I've been thinking that it might be kind of nice to have you around."

"Oh," said R'dek, seeming quietly astonished. Then a slow grin began to grow over his features. "Really?"

Rodne drew a long breath, biting back a sarcastic retort, and then said, "Yes, really. But if you tell another soul I ever said such a thing…" He glared at both R'dek and Caresn, who seemed to be holding back a smirk.

The healer managed to pull a straight face, though his eyes still twinkled. "I've been made privy to many secrets in my work," he promised Rodne. "Yours won't be the first, rest assured."

Rodne relaxed, then turned to R'dek to gesture impatiently. "Well then you need to get packing if you're coming with me," he said. "And make it fast; the weather could turn at any minute."

An experienced traveler, R'dek had himself packed up and ready to go in short order and the two men headed out of the village long before the sun had reached its zenith. Rodne had wanted to take his leave without drawing attention to himself, or the fact that he was taking the toolmaker with him, but there was no escaping Li'bet's watchful eye.

Still, Rodne was relieved to find, she refrained from commenting on the fact that he was departing in the company of the toolmaker. Her look, as she passed her gaze over the two of them, was measuring, and her smile, as she bade them journey well, was kind. She also made sure to invite them both to their midwinter's celebration. "The story telling will not be the same without Rodne's contributions," she told R'dek..

"You tell stories?" R'dek turned to Rodne to ask as they stepped out onto the trail to Rodne's cave.

"Not on purpose," Rodne muttered. "I had to make them up so that people could remember which group of stars was which, and what order they came in, and that worked fine, as far as it went. They all seem to know this stuff pretty well now, but they keep wanting to hear _me_ tell them again, especially at midwinter."

"This is nothing to be ashamed of," said R'dek kindly.

"I know," Rodne sighed. "It's just not what I wanted to be remembered for."

"Most would be satisfied to be remembered at all," commented R'dek. "I know I would."

"What," said Rodne, "you think you won't be? Gods above, R'dek, the tools you make, they'll last for generations. If people have any sense at all they'll be singing your praises for the next ten score of winters or more."

R'dek smiled and looked away bashfully. "Perhaps," he said quietly, and then, "Rodne… I must thank you for inviting me to stay with you. Caresn was a very gracious host, but I think he had begun to wish I had somewhere else to go, and was too kind to make me leave."

Rodne shrugged and told R'dek he was welcome and they walked on in silence for a while until R'dek spoke up again.

"Also," he said at last, "I think… I was missing you too."

"Yeah?" said Rodne, his smile giving away more than he meant to as he paused to guide R'dek over an icy patch in the trail. "That's ah… that would be a new thing for me."

"Me too," said R'dek, looking up at him with those guileless, pale blue eyes.

"Huh," was all Rodne could think to say to that, but he could not help but think, silently to himself as he trudged through the snow with his new friend, that this might just be the best thing that had ever happened to him.


	4. Chapter 4

Rodne need not have worried about tiring of R'dek's presence at all, as it turned out. Night after night the two of them talked until their eyes were heavy with fatigue and as often as not they found it difficult to stop even after they'd crawled under the furs on Rodne's bed to sleep. R'dek's words and experiences sparked ideas in Rodne as nothing and no one else ever had, and the toolmaker seemed to find himself similarly inspired. Rodne happily indulged himself in this new-found intellectual exchange and indulged R'dek in turn. He found it positively intoxicating.

Intoxicating as well was the stuff in the leather flask that R'dek brought out after their first few nights together. Rodne thought he'd heeded the man's advice to take a small sip at first, but it burned all the way down and made his eyes water as he whooped and coughed in reaction to the sensations.

"They call it 'lightning water' in the town where I learned to make it," R'dek explained with a smile, swallowing down an enormous gulp, "because it burns like lighting going down, and after you have drunk enough you will feel as though you have been struck by lightning."

"What, are you trying to poison and me?" Rodne asked when he'd recovered his voice, looking dubiously at the flask that R'dek handed back to him. R'dek only grinned as Rodne hazarded another sip, feeling the burn become a warmth that spread from his belly into the rest of his body. It was a pleasant, relaxing warmth, and after another few sips Rodne began to recognize the sensations.

Some years ago, at a Midwinters feast, neighboring villagers had contributed some quantities of a fairly vile fermented grain porridge which Rodne had been talked into trying. Six or seven the bowls of the stuff later, Rodne had found himself telling the stories he'd made up for himself to keep the various constellations sorted in his head, to the whole village. He'd diligently kept clear of the porridge since then, but he'd set and inescapable precedent that year, and had been stuck with the task of telling those stories every Midwinters from then on.

It was rapidly becoming clear to Rodne that every sip of R'dek's 'lightning water' was nearly as potent as a whole bowl of the fermented porridge, and it was a good deal more pleasant going down. Part of him was sure that no good could come of this, but another part was warm and happy and enjoying himself immensely. He was not, after all, away from home, amidst a crowd of untrustworthy acquaintances and strangers, but safe in his own comfortable cave with the one person who he had come to trust more than anyone he'd ever known in his life.

Thinking this, Rodne felt himself relax and held out his hand for another pass at the flask of lightning water. R'dek grinned merrily as Rodne hazarded a larger gulp and whooped loudly as he felt the fire in it seem to ignite in his chest. R'dek's eyes sparkled with glee as he patted Rodne forcefully on the back.

"Is good, ne?" he laughed.

"In a way that I never really associated with the word 'good' before, I suppose," said Rodne, his voice harsh with the aftermath of the liquor's fire.

R'dek only laughed again and took the flask back from Rodne for another swallow. He did this without removing his hand from Rodne's shoulder and Rodne could not help thinking that this was, perhaps, another species of 'good' as well.

Spitt came to join them now, disturbed from her nap on Rodne's bed by all the yelping and coughing. She ignored them at first, seeming intent on washing herself by the fire, but when R'dek reached out with his free hand to spider his fingers across the floor behind her she froze, her demeanor shifting instantly into 'hunter' mode.

"If you want to retain the use of that hand," said Rodne, reaching for a long, thin willow branch he kept for this very purpose, "I recommend you use this instead."

R'dek took his advice, and the proffered twig, and soon had Spitt doing some remarkably entertaining acrobatics. Lightheaded with the effects of a R'dek's liquor, Rodne found himself laughing along with a R'dek at the cat's antics, leaning comfortably into the man's side as the hand resting over his shoulders shifted to close around them. It warmed him, as the fire warmed him, and the liquor warmed him, and the closeness of a R'dek's body warmed him, and it was all very good.

It was at about this point that Spitt evidently decided that it was time to strike at the actual controller of the fiendish stick, and without warning lunged towards R'dek's face. Yelping with surprise, between gales of laughter, Rodne and R'dek both fell back onto the ox hide laying before the fire, and Spitt landed on R'dek's chest, looking quite pleased with herself. Between the cat's initial refusal to relinquish her prey, and the two men's helpless laughter, it took a moment or two for them to struggle upright again, but when they did Rodne did not fail to notice that R'dek's hand had shifted again.

The warm, clever fingers now resting on his thigh elicited in Rodne yet another sort of the warmth, one that Rodne had not felt in a long time. He had not felt it very often either, and his few, unhappy experiences with such behaviors led him immediately to wonder what R'dek meant by it. It was these experiences that provided the probable answer too, and finding it Rodne felt much of his previous comfort and contentedness evaporate.

"You don't have to do that," Rodne said, before things went any further.

"What?" R'dek looked rather more confused than relieved, which was what Rodne had certainly expected to find on the man's face.

"That... that isn't... I mean I don't expect that kind of favor from you just because I'm letting you stay here," Rodne finally managed, not sure how else to put it.

R'dek blinked, withdrawing his hand from Rodne's a leg almost reluctantly, it seemed. "Forgive me," he said, "if I am seeming obtuse, but I wish only to be clear. Some men... they simply do not like to take pleasure of this sort with other men. Is this how it is with you?"

Now it was Rodne who was confused. "No..." he said, because that was the true answer to R'dek's question, "but I... look, I've been on the other end of the whole 'sex for a place to stay' thing, and it wasn't the worst deal I've ever made; it just..." It just made him feel empty and used, even when the sex was sort of good, but he couldn't bring himself to confess this to R'dek. "That isn't why I asked you to stay here, is all. I meant it when I said that I liked... spending time with you. That's enough. Really."

"I know that, Rodne," said R'dek, no longer looking confused, but smiling instead, kindly and perhaps just a little bit sadly. "This I offer because I wish to. Is that so strange to you?"

The answer to this question was ' yes', but Rodne didn't think he was quite ready to confess that to R'dek, either. His two experiences with sex that had involved other actual people had both been driven by motivations that had nothing to do with Rodne's desires or desirability and this left him with no basis at all for understanding the current situation.

At a little over fourteen summers, Rodne hadn't exactly cared about the motivations of Leeta, the hare-lipped girl in the village with the dogs, but his eventual realization of how badly she wanted a baby from him had him fleeing the village in the dead of night. The goatheard, Kip's artless offer of letting him stay in his camp and eat his food all summer in exchange for Rodne letting him 'put his dick in him', had at least been straight-forward and honest, but Rodne knew that the offer had only been made because he had happened by at the right moment. Kip would have made any other passing, half-starved youth, of any gender, the same offer.

Rodne could not imagine R'dek having any hidden motives, and if he'd just wanted a fuck with whatever warm willing body was available, he'd have had plenty of opportunities with any number of the lads in the bachelor's hut, or Caresn for that matter. No, there was no ulterior motive in those guiless blue eyes, and though there was lust there, it was complicated by other things. It was longing, Rodne realized at last, for he recognized the look. R'dek longed for him just as Rodne longed to know the secrets of the stars, and understanding this at last, Rodne realized that there was no reason to refuse him, and every reason to grant him what he desired.

"It is... I guess," Rodne said at last, answering R'dek's question. "But I think it's, um... okay."

R'dek's grin was sudden and almost blinding, but also fairly brief. "I am glad to hear it," he said softly, and then he tilted his head and leaned in to kiss him.

Poor Leeta's hare-lipped kisses had been self-conscious and cursory, and Kip had never kissed him at all, so Rodne was entirely unprepared for the depth and intensity of Ra'dek's. He surprised himself with the quiet moan that escaped him and even more at the hunger that woke in him, eager to answer. Suddenly he was devouring R'dek's mouth like a starving man and R'dek was responding with equal desperation, pushing him back against the oxhide on the floor.

They continued in this manner until Rodne realized that he was needing to breathe and apparently R'dek was too, for he was panting just as heavily as Rodne when they finally parted.

"This is new for you also?" R'dek asked, still a little breathless.

"Um..." said Rodne, "mostly, yeah."

"You do it quite well, you know," R'dek said, hungrily. "I would very much like to do it some more?"

"Gods, yes," said Rodne, and then they were on each other again, their hands grasping at each other's bodies as possessively as their mouths devoured. Rodne reveled in the sensations of a R'dek's wiry body pressed into his, but gradually he became aware of how cold the floor was under the ox hide upon which they lay, and how soft it wasn't.

"Okay," he said, when it was time to breathe again, "we need to take this somewhere more comfortable, yes?"

"Yes," R'dek agreed adamantly. "Also, we want to make warmer fire to make removal of clothing less uncomfortable?"

"Yes, yes, brilliant thinking, as usual," Rodne approved. "I'll go get more wood."

He made two trips to the front of the cave where the wood was stacked, and by the time he returned with the second armload R'dek had the fire blazing enthusiastically, and was already slipping off his tunic.

The parts inside Rodne's loin cloth were already growing a bit uncomfortable in their confines, but the site of a R'dek's long, abundantly furred torso revealed in the golden light of the fire had them all about demanding release. He adjusted himself, schooling them to patience for one of last brief errand, as he darted to his pantry. Here he kept a pot of goose fat which he had discovered to be quite useful when amusing himself from time to time, and he thought it might come in handy now.

R'dek was entirely naked and comfortably stretched out on the furs piled on Rodne's bed when he returned, and he could not set the pot of goose fat down fast enough. His own tunic and loin cloth were in a pile at the bottom of his bed in less time than it takes to say, and no more than a heartbeat later he was stretched out along side R'dek, kissing him once again and thrilling at the sensation of his own naked flesh pressed against the other man's.

One of the things that Rodne had learned during his summer with the goat herd was that, in spite of the inequity of the arrangement, Rodne rather liked having another man's cock in his ass. He enjoyed it so much that by the end of the summer Kip had been inspired to give it a try himself, and decided that he liked it as well. Rodne had absolutely no objection to fucking him, but other than the certain amount of handling necessary to get the various parts in the various places they were wanted, there'd been almost no touching. By the end of that summer, Rodne was hungry -- starved even -- to touch, and to be touched.

Shut away for all the many years since, that sense of being starved for touch woke in him now, at last, and found R'dek laid out before him like a feast.

"Gods..." he groaned worshipfully against R'dek's throat, caressing his way down his lean, muscled body, feeling dense hair and warm skin beneath his fingers. R'dek moaned and arched his back, pressing himself up against Rodne's hands as they moved over the soft roundness of R'dek's belly and paused to finger the course hair at the base of his cock.

R'dek's fully erect flesh twitched at the nearness of Rodne's touch, but still he paused, suddenly not sure if he should ask permission. Permission was there, however, in R'dek's wide, imploring gaze when Rodne turned to find it and, savoring the moment, he let his fingers trail up the length of R'dek's graceful, rigidly erect cock.

"Yesss..." R'dek groaned, thrusting again, and Rodne closed his eyes to lose himself in the feel of R'dek's heated flesh in his hand. Cautiously he closed his hand around the hardness, feeling the foreskin roll back as R'dek thrust his hips upward once more, fucking his hand.

Eyes still closed, listening to R'dek's harsh and panting breaths, Rodne was surprised to feel R'dek's hands on his, lifting it gently away from his cock and up to his lips. He opened his eyes now to watch with delight as R'dek drew each one of his fingers, one after the other, into his mouth, sucking on them gently as he pulled them free. Now it was Rodne who panted with arousal as R'dek's lithe fingers reached down to curl around Rodne's own achingly hard cock, toying with the moisture seeping from its tip.

"Has anyone ever put their mouth on your cock, Rodne?" he asked, murmuring at the base of his throat, so that Rodne could feel his lips moving against the sensitive skin there.

"Wha...?" Rodne replied intelligently, a little overwhelmed by the very idea.

“Have you never felt lips close around your sex,” R'dek purred, his fingers circling Rodne's shaft. “Or felt what it is like to have it sucked, or teased with a warm, wet tongue?”

“N... no...” Rodne stammered, close to coming from R'dek's words alone. “N-no one... I mean... who... who would...?”

“Ah, my good friend,” sighed R'dek, rolling to lie closer to Rodne still, facing him and pressing their two bodies and cocks together. “I would, and I will, but not tonight, or our pleasure would be too brief.” He reached across to dip his fingers in the pot of goose fat, scooping out a small dollop.

“This is perfect,” he commented with a smile, smearing a bit between thumb and forefinger. “What is it?”

“Goose fat,” Rodne answered. “I ah... sometimes use it on myself...”

“I think it will be very pleasant to use it on us both together, yes?” murmured R'dek against his chest.

“Um, sure... oh Gods!” said Rodne as R'dek's lips moved over one of his nipples. Who knew such a thing would feel so good? R'dek, apparently, for he hummed delightedly and then pinched the small nub of flesh gently between his lips and tongued it.

Rodne gasped helplessly and thrust his hips into R'dek's, their two hard cocks sliding against one another. R'dek moaned softly around Rodne's nipple and then reached down with the hand smeared with goose fat, wrapping his slender, slippery fingers around both their cocks.

“Oh fuck!” Rodne shouted, for he had never in his life felt anything like this. He and R'dek both thrust together as R'dek slowly pumped his hand up and down their cocks, now both slick with goose fat. One of Rodne's hands clutched hard at R'dek's shoulder, the other curled firmly over his hip and now R'dek was lifting his head to find Rodne's lips again. Rodne groaned as they met, thrusting his tongue into R'dek's mouth as he thrust his cock into R'dek's hand.

Regardless of R'dek's intention to prolong their pleasure, Rodne knew that he wasn't going to last much longer. For all that he took himself in hand, alone in his bed, on a fairly regular basis, there was no comparing those brief, furtive releases, with what he felt building in him now. He cried out loudly into R'dek's mouth as the man continued to kiss him relentlessly, and then Rodne felt R'dek's free hand at the back of his head, fingers spread wide and pressing hard into his skull, assuring that there could be no escape.

It was these sensations that pushed Rodne into release at last. His near shrieks of ecstasy muffled by R'dek's mouth, Rodne felt his whole body spasm with the force of his climax. R'dek continue to thrust against him, even as the all-encompassing pleasure of his release coursed through him, and a handful of powerfully thudding heartbeats later, R'dek broke as well, his spending mixing with Rodne's and the goose fat slicking both their cocks.

Only then did he released Rodne from the kiss, so that they both lay panting and gasping in a sated heap on the bed. It was sometime before Rodne found the strength or volition to stir, and when he did it was to reach up and touch R'dek's cheek tenderly, brushing a long lock of hair away from his eyes.

“Okay,” he said with a self-conscious smile. “I'm glad you talked me into that.”

R'dek laughed a little breathlessly, tracing his fingers over Rodne's lips. “I'm glad you are glad,” he said. “It will be quite pleasant to pass much of the coming winter in this way, yes?”

Now Rodne laughed. “You know, I usually hate those long winter storms when I can't go out and look at the night sky for days on end,” he said, “but by the gods, I think I'm actually looking forward to them now.” 

*****

As though his words had been heard by the very gods he refused to believe in, the weather turned dark and dismal the very next day and, true to his word, Rodne was perfectly pleased to have it so. He was a little concerned that it would stay bad and prevent them from traveling to the village for the midwinter festivities, but now that he wasn't fretting irrationally, Rodne knew that it was unlikely that the poor weather would hold for all that time.

In the meantime, Rodne got to find out just how nice it was to have R'dek's mouth on his cock, and seeing as how R'dek enjoyed it so much, he gave a try at putting his mouth on R'dek's. Though the taste and feel of it was new and a bit odd, the delight he felt at seeing R'dek gasp and cry out in pleasure when he did made it all worth it. He thought about asking R'dek about the other thing he liked to do with another man's cock, but he wasn't sure what R'dek would think of that, since he hadn't brought it up himself. He decided to keep it to himself for now, and found more than enough enjoyment in the new experiences R'dek was happily still to introducing him to.


	5. Chapter 5

Conveniently, the poor weather broke a couple of days before they figured they'd want to head down to Lakeside, and the sun rose over a dazzling, snow covered landscape. Bundled up in pretty much every garment he owned, R'dek stood at the entrance to Rodne's cave and viewed the pristine surroundings with pleasure.

"Such beauty," R'dek said with a sigh as Rodne came out to stand beside him. "You have truly chosen a magnificent place to make your home."

"I chose this place to make my home because it was far away from people," grumbled Rodne, "and you'll forget all about how 'beautiful' this snow is once you've spent half the afternoon floundering through it."

They were going out to check the traps that they'd set just before the weather turned, in hopes of finding something to contribute to the feast in the village. Rodne was, by his own admission, a 'crap hunter', but he'd gotten fairly skilled, by necessity, at making and setting traps. R'dek had introduced him to a number of novel refinements as they'd been setting out the last batch, and Rodne was keenly interested in seeing how they'd worked. He was not all that keen, however, on hiking through the deep, newly fallen snow.

Equipped with a long staff to help him make his way, Rodne broke a trail through the drifts with R'dek following in his wake, and before long they had reached the first of the traps. Happily, they found that it had snagged a nice fat rabbit, which Rodne tucked into his shoulder bag before resetting the trap, and then they set off for the next.

By the end of the afternoon they had collected two more rabbits and, in the big standing log trap R'dek had help him set up, a small, yearling buck. It was a good take, but by the time they had returned to Rodne's home he was exhausted and complaining endlessly about the snow, and R'dek was too cold to tell him to shut up. It had been some years since he had spent any time in such a cold climate, and his present set of garments simply wasn't up to it.

After some time resting and warming by the fire, however, both their spirits were improved considerably, and they dressed their game together in happy anticipation of the coming festivities. Rodne was happier still at the advent of what looked to be some clear, nearly moonless nights, and so R'dek was left to his own devices for the next few evenings. He put them to good use, however, and by the time they were preparing to leave on the journey to Lakeside, he had some worthwhile results to show for his efforts.

They rose early that morning, and R'dek smiled to see Rodne, staff in hand, wrapped in furs and laden with food, standing at his threshold with an expression of dread as he looked out over the unbroken snow covering the track down the mountain.

"This is so going to suck," he complained with unhappy anticipation. "I really hate hiking through deep snow."

"It can be something of a chore," R'dek agreed, coming out to stand beside him. "Still, there are ways to make it somewhat less so."

"Besides waiting for Spring?" Rodne quipped, looking back to finally notice the objects R'dek held in his hand, which he had spent the last few nights constructing.

"I understand that it is a tradition in Lakeside, as it is in many places, to give gifts at Midwinter?" R'dek asked, holding one pair of the objects up, offering them to Rodne. Rodne nodded, looking puzzled.

"I hope it is not too much of a break in tradition to present my gift early," he said. "But if you are able to have them now then it will save you much effort on the journey to the village, and it will save me having to listen to your complaining."

"Um… what are they?" Rodne asked.

"We called them 'snowshoes' in the area where I grew up," explained R'dek, kneeling in the trampled snow at Rodne's doorstep to place his booted foot over the network of woven canes and tie up the thong bindings. "You fasten them on your feet like this, and they make it so that they do not sink so deeply into the snow as you walk."

"Really?" Rodne's reply was both puzzled and dubious, but R'dek had expected nothing else.

"Try them and you will see," R'dek replied with confidence. "Do you want me to help you putting them on?"

"No, no," said Rodne shaking his head as he knelt to do as R'dek had done. "Like this, right?"

R'dek looked to see that Rodne had done up the bindings correctly, and nodded when he saw that he had. "Now, watch me," he said, striding into the deep snow. There was a special gait one used when wearing snowshoes, and it took R'dek a few moments to recall it. He strode a little way down the hill and then looked back at Rodne. "Lift your feet up very high as you walk!" he called.

"You know, you weigh a lot less than me!" Rodne called back as he stepped tentatively into a snow-bank. He stumbled a bit at first, forgetting R'dek's advice, then got the hang of it, tramping up to where R'dek stood with an expression of delighted surprise on his face.

"Wow!" he said with childlike glee. "These are amazing! They really work! Thanks!"

"Happy Midwinter, Rodne," said R'dek with a smile.

"I've, um, got something for you, too," Rodne said, stepping forward to take the lead, "but it's kind of packed away. I was going to give it to you when we got to town."

"That will be fine," R'dek replied with a pleased smile, for he had not really expected a gift from Rodne. "I will enjoy the anticipation."

~*~  
****

They arrived in Lakeside the next day, earlier and in much better spirits than either of them had expected. Rodne had lent R'dek one of his sleeping furs to wrap himself in for the journey as well, so that he'd managed to keep warm enough, though it was a bit cumbersome and kept having to be retied so as not to slip off R'dek's shoulders. Rodne had been surprised at how unprepared R'dek was for the cold weather, though R'dek had mentioned that he'd made a trade for a warm winter tunic with a woman from the village, who had promised to have it done by Midwinter. Rodne hoped that this was so, for he hated seeing R'dek shivering with cold. It reminded him of how close they'd come to losing him in that first snowfall.

Lakeside was thronging with visitors when they arrived, but lookouts had spotted them coming from a distance so Li'bet, Caresn and a handful of others were there to greet them warmly as they entered the village. Among those waiting to welcome them was the woman with R'dek's tunic, which he was most happy to see. Even Rodne had to admit that she'd done fine job, for it was not only lined with fur, but the cuffs and hood were trimmed with it as well, and she had placed a line of decorative stitches around the hem and sleeves.

Naturally, R'dek was quite eager to put it on, and Rodne was eager to have his heavy pack off, and so Caresn, who'd agreed to have them both as guests for the festivities, invited them back to his hut to see to all those things. Caresn's place was cozy and warm as always, and Rodne hardly had his pack off before R'dek was slipping his outer garments off and wriggling into his new tunic.

It fit perfectly, and it had to be terrifically warm, the way R'dek was grinning. More than that, though, R'dek looked really… nice in it. It was surprising to Rodne how pleasant it was to see the toolmaker in something more well made than the ragged hide tunic he generally wore. It made him seem downright handsome. Rodne himself had no garments that were anything other than utilitarian, and had never felt the need for fancy wear. R'dek hadn't likely asked for the fancy stitching either, but Rodne had a feeling that some of the women in Lakeside, including this seamstress apparently, had their eye on the man, and she was likely trying to make an impression.

Caresn was nodding appreciatively as well as he took in the sight of R'dek in his new outfit. "This is Pretna's work, isn't it?" he asked.

R'dek nodded. "I had nothing so splendid in mind," he said, "but I can't say I'm displeased."

"It looks very fine on you, lad," Caresn approved. "Rodne, you ought to have her make something for you as well. Ye could do with something fine like this."

"Mmm," said Rodne non-committally. "Somehow I don't think she'd be quite as motivated on anything she made for me."

Caresn looked like he wanted to dispute this but Rodne forestalled the discussion by pulling the game he'd brought out of his pack.

"Check this out," he said, proffering a haunch of buck. "We really scored on the trap line before we came down, so we've got lots for the cooks this year. Oh, and this is for you." Rodne offered the fattest of the rabbits he'd trapped to Caresn. "Happy Midwinter."

"Why, thank you Rodne!" said Caresn with delight. "I've something for the two of you as well. Here…" He rummaged around on a shelf for a few moments and then turned to them with two small, sealed clay pots. Rodne recognized them right away.

"Loren brought me a whole brace of geese this Fall," he explained, "and, well, the fat is fine for cooking with, and it's good for dry skin as well… but I'm thinking the two of you might have another use for it…"

Rodne and R'dek exchanged glances and grinned a little sheepishly. "It may be that we do," R'dek said with a smile. "Thank you, Caresn."

Slipping his new pot of goose fat into his pack, Rodne came upon the little hide wrapped piece of birch bark he'd created for R'dek and drew it out now, feeling suddenly very conscious of how impractical it was.

"R'dek," he began hesitantly, "this… ah, this is something I made for you." He laid the small package in R'dek's hands and watched nervously as the toolmaker's clever fingers untied the twine that bound it up. R'dek's expression was at first puzzled as the marked up birch bark was revealed, then intrigued as he moved it closer to fire to see it better.

"What is it?" asked Caresn, puzzled and curious.

"These…" began R'dek with wonder in his voice, "these are the number marks Rodne uses to figure the movements of the stars… and these are the marks he uses for the moving stars… and these are for the different formations –the shapes that the regular stars make."

"Oh, aye, like the bear and the serpent and the sleeping woman?" Caresn replied.

"Yes, yes," R'dek murmured, absorbed in the object. "But these… these numbers –thirty nine summers, the third moon, half full… this is when I was born, ne?"

"I hope so," said Rodne. "I mean, that's what I meant it to be."

"Rodne… these are the stars that were in the sky when I was born?" R'dek asked with astonishment.

Rodne shrugged. "As near as I can figure. I mean, it's not like there's any way to check if I'm right."

R'dek gazed from Rodne back to the piece of birch bark in his hand. "I could still see the stars then," he murmured, "and this is what I would have seen. I… Rodne, thank you."

"I, um, I'm glad you like it," Rodne said, smiling down at the floor. "It's not really good for anything, like the snowshoes you made for me, but it's something I could make for you myself…"

"Rodne," R'dek turned to him now, his eyes bright with feeling as he laid a hand on Rodne's shoulder. "Those snowshoes will last one winter, maybe two, but this… this will live in my heart for the rest of my life."

"Oh," said Rodne softly, and then R'dek's arms were around him, drawing him into a warm embrace.

~*~

It was the tradition to throw the bachelor's lodge open to all the residents of Lakeside and their guests for the midwinter festivities, and it was here that Rodne and R'dek delivered their two venison haunches to much adulation. There was already a fair amount of food laid out for all on a big ox hide by the fire, and both men repaired here as soon as they had made their delivery, for the voyage had left them with a healthy appetite.

They had no sooner settled in a corner to enjoy their repast of fish jerky, flat-bread and honey sweetened tea than Rodne's seasonal well-wishers began to appear, bearing the customary gifts. Rodne did begin to feel a little self conscious about the small pile of material goods forming at his side, but soon enough Radek began to accumulate his own pile, mainly of trades he'd made before he'd left, but of some gifts as well.

Pretna and her friends had made them each a pair of sturdy, fur lined boots, and some of the other young women from the village had made them a pair of large carry baskets to take their new belongings home in. Rodne knew that by now there could be little doubt of how unlikely it was that R'dek would settle with any of these young women, so they would appear to have made these gifts out of kindness alone, which confused Rodne a bit, but warmed his heart in an odd way as well.

Their contribution of venison as well as several other fine looking pieces of game were all turning on spits over the central fire and well on their way to done when the crowds of traders and well-wishers finally thinned out, and shortly thereafter the musicians and drummers started up. Rodne had never been one for dancing, but R'dek was keen for it, and was up and jumping around as soon as the music got going. Though a few of the single women dancing with him looked to be trying to entice the toolmaker into something more than dancing later in the evening, Rodne felt not the least bit of concern. Instead he found it quite pleasant to watch R'dek dancing, especially after he pulled his new tunic off and commenced dancing in his leggings only, shirtless and barefoot.

Rising to make another run at the food, which now featured a variety of roasted game birds, Rodne turned his mind to the story he would soon be asked for, customarily after the musicians took their first break. This they did just as Rodne was finishing his goose leg and a bowl of wild rice with herbs. R'dek came to collapse beside him then, still a little breathless from dancing and with his own bowl heaped with food, and handed Rodne the notorious flask.

"They say you will be giving us story soon?" Radek asked as Rodne took the flask.

Rodne nodded, then shrugged as he tipped the flask back to take a good sized swig. "There'll be other story tellers too," he said after the liquor's burn had passed, "but I like to go first and get it over with."

"This will help relax you then," said R'dek with a grin as he tore into a deliciously greasy piece of duck. "Go on, have some more."

R'dek, as it turned out, was quite right about that, as he was about so many things, and the story of The Winter Hunter and the Great Bear had never flowed so easily from him. It never failed to amaze him how the crowd of children and adults would listen raptly, every time, in spite of the fact that many of the listeners had heard the tale before, some of them enough times to tell it themselves. As always, he tried to balance the dose of sheer fantasy he was delivering by ending the tale with a real fact or two, and as always, the crowd lost interest as soon as he did.

"So now, when you think of this story," Rodne continued doggedly as many of his audience rose to make for the food again, "you'll remember that though the group of stars shaped like a big bear will stay in our sky all year, the ones in the shape of a man with a long hunting knife in his belt will be leaving us before the summer comes."

There was a sizable crowd around the food as Rodne stepped away from the central fire, so he returned to sit by R'dek's side, happily taking another swig from the flask his friend offered him.

"That was very good," R'dek said with an admiring smile, "and I have seen more than a few story tellers in my travels, you know."

"But they never bother to listen to the actually true stuff at the end," Rode complained, swiping some dried cherries off of R'dek's plate. "All they want to hear is the nonsense I make up. I just don't get that."

"In all my travels," R'dek replied with a shrug, "I have met only a handful of people who have the desire, such as you and I do, to understand the true nature of the world. We are a rare breed, my friend, and we are very fortunate indeed whenever we meet another who is similarly inclined."

By now the musicians were gathering for another round and the crowd around the food had thinned somewhat, and so the two of them rose, R'dek to return to the dance floor and Rodne to the food. Rodne was more than content to sit and eat while watching R'dek moving his body to the music, dancing at times with some of the village's unattached young women and at times with some of the prettier young men from the bachelor's lodge. After a bit Rodne saw him step away from the dancers to have an animated conversation with one of the young hunters, and he was struck by a troubling realization.

Would R'dek, like the Winter Hunter of his story, be leaving them in the Spring? It only made sense. He'd found the flints he'd come to Lakeside for, and by the end of the Winter he would likely have made all the trades he was going to with the locals. He already had quite a collection of knives, scrapers and spear points made up, Rodne had seen, and he'd have quite a few more done by the time the weather turned warm and the mountain passes cleared. He'd need to move on in then order to trade all of those, wouldn't he?

Suddenly Rodne's appetite for the many delicacies heaped upon his plate was gone. He'd known that there was a reason he'd wanted to hold his affections for the toolmaker in check, but now it was too late. Naturally, he scowled to himself, if the universe had allowed him any happiness it was bound to be a fleeting one –granted only so that he could miss them in their absence. For so much of his life he'd thought nothing of his loneliness and isolation, but these things would hurt when R'dek left, as they had not hurt since he was a child. Rodne felt an anticipation of that hurt and sorrow settle into his heart and, even as the sound of music and joyful celebration surrounded him, he suddenly felt terribly alone.

So lost was he in these dark musings that he did not notice R'dek's presence until he dropped down beside him, still breathing hard from his recent exertions. Head bowed, Rodne felt rather than saw the sudden change in R'dek's demeanor as he became aware of Rodne's mood, and a warm, gentle hand came to rest on his shoulder.

"Rodne?" R'dek asked softly. "What is wrong?"

Rodne couldn't face him, couldn't find the strength to raise his head, but he couldn't avoid the question either, and so came right out with it. "You're leaving in the Spring, aren't you?" he asked.

R'dek went still beside him, though his hand remained firmly on his shoulder, and he was silent for a moment. Finally he drew an unsteady breath and asked, "Do you wish me to?"

Rodne swallowed hard. To confess the truth would expose all his hurts and only make them worse, he was certain, and yet he could not bring himself to lie to R'dek. He struggled with it for a long moment and then gave up. "No," he admitted wretchedly at last.

The sigh he heard from R'dek sounded… relieved? And the hand on his shoulder tightened its grip and pulled him close. "Then I will not," said R'dek.

Rodne lifted his head abruptly, his eyes wide with astonishment. "But… don't you have to… Don't you always…?"

R'dek's smile was kind and his eyes as guileless as ever as he reached out with his free hand to touch Rodne's face affectionately. "It is how it has always been for me in the past, yes, but I am not so young as I once was, you know," he said. "I always knew that the day must come when I would travel no longer, and I hoped… with all my heart I hoped that I would find a place I could call home, that would welcome me. I hardly dared hope that I would find a person, as well, a like spirit with whom I could be myself and share the things I love." R'dek's smile grew very wide now. 

"Having found both those things here, I would be very foolish to leave, you know?"

"Well, when you put it that way," Rodne grinned, "yeah, I guess so."

R'dek grinned in answer, and then leaned in to kiss him, hand still resting on Rodne's cheek. "Now," he said drawing back from the kiss just enough to speak, so close that his lips nearly brushed Rodne's as he did, " as I have already made arrangements with some of the hunters to trade my tools for me as they travel, the only question remaining is whether I will be building a new dwelling place here in the village, finding my own cave in the mountains, or staying just were I am…?"

"You have any complaints with the current living arrangements?" Rodne asked, nibbling at R'dek's ear, surprised at his behavior in such a public place but unable to resist.

"Not one," answered R'dek, nuzzling Rodne's hair. "And you?"

"Couldn't be better," sighed Rodne, resting his forehead contentedly on R'dek's shoulder.

"Then there is no need for additional labors on my part?" R'dek mused happily as Rodne nodded against his shoulder. "This I like." Now R'dek lifted Rodene's head with both his hands to kiss him warmly once more. Then, when the kiss had ended, he made to stand, pulling Rodne up with him.

"Come," he said as Rodne resisted. "We celebrate the occasion with a dance!"

"No, no, no, no…" Rodne objected, though he was standing now. "I so do not dance!"

"Have you ever tried, Rodne?" R'dek cajoled.

"Well, no, but…" Rodne attempted to object.

"Then you cannot say you do not dance, can you?" R'dek insisted.

"And you can't say that I can!" Rodne insisted right back.

"Perhaps not," R'dek seemed to give way. "But what I can say is that _you_ have been watching _me_ all night. I have seen you. So. The least you can do is give me a chance to watch _you_ , yes? Is only fair."

Rodne knew he had lost, fair and square, but he still complained as R'dek lead him to where the musicians were starting up a new tune. "I'll look like an idiot," he mumbled, but R'dek only chuckled and kissed him on the nose, then handed him the flask of lightning water.

"Here," he said, grinning evilly, "this will make you care less."

Rodne allowed how this was likely true and so took a generous swallow, and then another for good measure, feeling his body relax as the liquor's fires warmed it from inside. Handing the flask back to R'dek to watch him tip his head back to take another sip himself, Rodne noticed that Caresn and Loren had stepped onto the dance floor as well. There were a lot of appreciative sounds coming from a crowd of young women as they began to dance, and these sounds escalated as R'dek took Rodne's hand and pulled him out to an open spot on the floor.

Paralyzed for a moment with self-consciousness, Rodne spotted Caresn glancing his way, grinning merrily and eyes twinkling with glee. "C'mon, man," he called. "Ye can do it!"

R'dek had already started moving in tempo with the drummers, dancing most beguilingly around Rodne where he stood dazedly watching. Feeling the warmth of the lightning water coursing through his veins, Rodne slowly began to mirror R'dek's movements, feeling the rhythm he moved to and letting it guide him.

Rodne flushed at the sound of the women watching suddenly breaking into loud, appreciative ululations, but did not stop, losing himself in the sound of the music instead. The drummers increased their tempo and so did he and he found he could continue moving along with them and watch R'dek, his sweat drenched body illuminated by the firelight so that it seemed to glow. The toolmaker threw his head back and laughed with joy as Rodne watched, and he felt himself do likewise, letting himself be consumed with the moment.

Warmed by the fire without and the lightning water within, heart full to bursting with happiness, Rodne danced and laughed and knew, possibly for the first time in his life, the simple and uncomplicated joy of just being alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Upon reflection, I note that this is the closest thing to a 'winter holiday story' I have ever, and probably will ever write -and I did finish it on Christmas day, 2007. Thus, Happy Holidays to all my readers, whichever wintertime holiday you happen to celebrate.


	6. Chapter 6

The day had not begun auspiciously as Rodne and R'dek had ventured forth that morning into the snowy uplands to check their trap line, and found only one small rabbit and a sparrow, too tiny to eat. R'dek had been going on all morning, however, about this crazy theory he'd heard, that the sun, and not the Earth, was the center of the universe, and as they passed an open, snowbound meadow, R'dek tracked a series of concentric circles in the snow, made Rodne walk slowly along the third, and proceeded to demonstrate how this theory explained the highly mysterious phenomenon of retrograde motion among the wandering stars.

Rodne was actually struck speechless by the magnitude of this revelation at first but then, as they left the meadow to return home, he found new ideas and realizations filling his mind and spilling forth at an unprecedented rate. Some of these were things that R'dek had heard of or thought about before, while others were completely novel, and by the time they arrived at the cave they were firing half begun sentences at each other with dizzying speed, and Rodne found himself filled with a heady, intellectual euphoria that made him feel almost as if he was walking on air.

This euphoria seemed to have ignited other energies in both of them as well, for without saying a word about it, they both gathered double arm-loads of firewood from the pile near the front of the cave the moment their outer wraps were off. Rodne left R'dek to the task of building up the fire, as he had a singular talent for it, but the moment he had the fire roaring and filling the space with warmth, Rodne fell upon him, clutching R'dek's head between his hands to ravish his mouth. R'dek responded with equal ardor, grasping Rodne's hips with both *his* hands to pull their groins and already half-hard cocks together.

They both gasped at the sensation and then Rodne shifted his grip to R'dek's shoulders and pulled him back and down onto their bed. Still powerfully fired by his earlier illuminations, Rodne retained the upper hand, pressing R'dek down against the furs and sliding his tunic up to reveal his long and amply furred torso.

"Gods I love how brilliant you are," Rodne murmured as his mouth and hands descended to kiss and suck and lick and caress that torso, and R'dek moaned softly and happily acquiesced.

In the few short months since R'dek had moved in, Rodne had developed a considerable fondness for the taste and feel of R'dek's cock in his mouth, and this was his goal now. He lingered only a little on the delicious, hard points of R'dek's nipples, while his hands worked at unfastening R'dek's leggings and loincloth. R'dek's cock was as hard as his own, and sprang up in the rapidly warming air of the cave the moment it was released.

As distracted as he almost certainly was, R'dek retained enough presence of mind to pull Rodne's tunic off before his mouth descended on his cock, which Rodne was perfectly pleased about. The heat of the fire and R'dek's fingers danced over his skin, as the heat of R'dek's cock pulsed in his mouth, and Rodne knew bliss. R'dek did too evidently, from the sounds he was making and the way he was thrusting his hips up to fuck Rodne's mouth. Rodne let him, partly because he was feeling especially grateful for R'dek's enlightening gift this morning, and partly because he liked how much deeper he could take it every time he did that. He could almost reach the base of R'dek's cock with the tip of his tongue now, and he loved how loudly R'dek would groan every time he tried.

Soon enough Rodne could feel R'dek begin to tremble in the way that meant he was close to coming. Rodne redoubled his efforts to take R'dek's long hard cock all the way past the back of his throat and swallow around it, as R'dek had done for him on occasion. It seemed like he might have gotten it right this time, or close to it, for R'dek cried out in sudden ecstasy, shuddered powerfully and came. Rodne felt the hot spurts at the back of his throat and swallowed them down triumphantly.

When R'dek's cries finally eased, and his shuddering body fell still, Rodne let R'dek's softening cock slip from his mouth and crawled up to take R'dek in his arms, holding him close and sighing with contentment. He hardly expected to find R'dek stirring so soon, but only a few moments later he felt R'dek nuzzle at his throat and then lift his head for a kiss, tasting himself in Rodne's mouth and clearly savoring the taste.

Lost in the kiss, Rodne was surprised to feel R'dek's fingers dexterously undoing the ties on his own leggings and loincloth, and then wrapping around his own cock, stroking it gently, caressing the most sensitive bits. Soon enough Rodne was moaning brokenly into R'dek's mouth, as he refused to release Rodne from their kiss, even as his clever fingers had their way with Rodne's cock.

R'dek had him reduced to a boneless heap of quivering ecstasy before very long, and then took advantage of the sorry state he had reduced Rodne to, rolling him over onto his back to resume kissing him with even greater fervor. Having evidently gotten Rodne right where he wanted him, R'dek now assaulted him with kisses on every part of his body, all the while continuing to squeeze and stroke Rodne's cock. Rodne was panting and moaning helplessly, thrusting his hips in an effort to fuck R'dek's hand, when R'dek's kisses found his nipples, transforming his moans into a shout of surprised delight. The sensation of R'dek's teeth gently biting one of them finally sent Rodne over the edge, back arching, fists clutching at the furs beneath him, hot seed spurting from between R'dek's wondrously talented fingers to spatter over his belly.

Rodne was only barely aware of R'dek swiping the mess away with someone's loincloth and pulling the furs over both of them as he curled up next to Rodne. He blinked sleepily to take in the vision of R'dek's head laying over his heart, smiling like a cat who had just eaten all the cheese, and Rodne reached his hand up to stroke through R'dek's fine and disarrayed hair.

Rodne could not remember any time in his life when he had been happier than he was these days, and he knew it was all because of R'dek. The toolmaker was smart, remarkably so, suffered Rodne's occasional poor moods with astonishing grace, and had shown Rodne more kinds of pleasure than Rodne had ever imagined existed. It was patently stupid to want more, and yet, there was one of pleasure that Rodne had known in his largely unpleasurable life which R'dek had never asked Rodne about, or even mentioned. R'dek knew what sorts of things Rodne had done with Kip, the goat herd, so it couldn't be that he thought that Rodne would be repulsed by the idea, but still, it had never come up. It seemed odd to Rodne that this should be so, and odd things troubled him. He could not let them be. He had to ask.

"R'dek?" Rodne said, fingers still combing lazily through his hair. "I was wondering…"

"Hm?" said at R'dek, looking up idly.

"Did you ever think," Rodne began tentatively, "that you might want… um… to, ah… have me, from… from behind… like, you know, like Kip did?"

As he asked, R'dek's pleasant contented look vanished, and he went very still against Rodne's chest. In all the time he had known him, Rodne had never seen R'dek take offense at anything Rodne said, no matter how outrageous, but now, Rodne feared, he had somehow, it and he felt his heart seize with fear.

"Why…" R'dek asked, quiet alarm in his voice, "why would I want that?"

"Um, because it feels really good?" Rodne offered, afraid to speak anything but the bluntest truth.

R'dek lifted himself up on one elbow to meet Rodne's eyes, anxious confusion showing in his own.

"I would never do anything like that to you Rodne," he said, "no matter how good it felt."

Rodne blinked. Something wasn't making sense here. "I, ah, wouldn't exactly be suffering here, you know," he tried to explain.

"I don't understand, Rodne," R'dek replied, frowning. "I thought you didn't like what you had to do with Kip?"

"I didn't like the fact that he'd almost never touched me," Rodne said, "and that he cared about his favorite goats more than he cared about me. Other than that, there was nothing particularly unpleasant about the sex."

To Rodne's dismay, R'dek's troubled frown grew only deeper. "I… I am sorry, Rodne," he said, "but I do not think that I could ever bring myself to do such a thing. I have heard men speak of this act only as… as one of brutality and humiliation. I fear I cannot see it any other way." The look in R'dek's eyes, even to Rodne's not so perceptive ones, spoke of something more –something deeply painful– and Rodne's heart ached for him.

"I hope…" R'dek went on, "I hope you are not too disappointed in me?"

"Gods no, R'dek!" Rodne said, drawing the man into his arms. "Never. I could never, ever be disappointed in you! Just forget I ever asked, please. It's nothing important, I swear."

R'dek responded in kind, wrapping his arms around Rodne's torso and holding on with all his wiry strength. Rodne held him close, rocking him ever so slightly as he stroked his hand over R'dek's hair once more, and silently berated himself for prying at something that clearly should have been left alone. He didn't know why, when he had something so good, he couldn't just be content with it as it was, but it seemed not in his nature to do so.

Waiting for them both to fall asleep, Rodne prayed silently to gods he did not believe in, that he might learn to hold his tongue before he ruined the best thing that had ever happened to him in his life.

~*~

They both woke hungry sometime later, and set to the task of making dinner without once mentioning their earlier conversation. There was, however, something slightly subdued about R'dek's demeanor for the remainder of the evening, even as they came to speak of the morning's exciting discoveries and their elaborations on it. Rodne could see that some aspect of his request was still troubling R'dek a good deal, but other than raising the topic again, which clearly seemed a bad idea, Rodne had no notion of what to do.

He snuggled in close as they crawled under the furs to sleep that night and was gratified to hear R'dek's contented sigh as he curled up against Rodne's back. What ever it was that he had raised to trouble R'dek's heart, at least it wasn't coming between them, and Rodne was profoundly grateful for that.

In all the time he had spent with R'dek since they'd first met last Autumn, Rodne had seldom heard the man speak in his mother tongue. Sometimes he could be heard muttering quietly over his work, and once Rodne had heard him shout angrily in words he did not understand when he'd slipped and broken a very good flint, ruining it. It was different words, but the same the language, Rodne was sure of it, sounding plaintive and distressed, that woke him in the middle of the night.

R'dek had rolled away from him, and so lay curled in a miserable ball, crying words whose meaning were unknown to Rodne, but whose import could not be mistaken. What ever demons held dominion over R'dek in his sleep, they clearly had him terrified.

"R'dek?" Rodne reached over to lay a gentle hand on his shoulder to wake him, but the demons held him fast.

"R'dek, wake up, you're dreaming," he tried again, shaking him slightly.

With a gasp and a terrified cry, R'dek came suddenly awake, eyes wide with panic, seeming not to know where he was at first.

"R'dek!" Rodne grabbed at him, pulling him close. "You're okay; you're safe; I've got you. It's okay; I've got you."

"Rodne…" R'dek sobbed at last, collapsing to lie against him, clutching him tight as Rodne held him and rocked him, murmuring soft comforts.

"Gods, gods…" R'dek moaned when he could speak again. "I thought I had finished with this dream. I thought it had left me finally. It has been so long since it came to me; I thought it must be done with me at last."

"Can... can you tell me," Rodne began, thinking of how Caresn said he delt with evil dreams, "what it was about? Caresn always says its better to get it out than to keep it closed up inside."

"He is a wise man," R'dek said, sniffling as he raised his head from Rodne's shoulder. "Though I am sorry that you will now carry this burden as well."

"It doesn't matter," said Rodne, smoothing R'dek's wild, disheveled hair. "I don't mind. Really."

R'dek straightened a bit in Rodne's arms and lifted a hand to scrub the tears away from his face. "It… it is about how the raiders came to my village when I was young," he said. "The worst time."

Rodne recalled that R'dek had spoken of this once or twice before. It was why he had left to go traveling. He had never previously offered any details, however, and Rodne suspected that this was about to change.

"In my seventh summer," R'dek began, "I had an older brother, and a little sister, newly born that spring. Our village was larger than some, though not so large as Lakeside, and relatively prosperous. Usually the raiders came in the late summer, when the crops were in, and we gave them what they asked. Sometimes they beat some of the men, and sometimes they took some of the women, but most years it was no more than that."

R'dek sighed and shifted to sit tucked into Rodne's side, and Rodne leaned over to kiss R'dek's cheek, encouraging him as best he knew how.

"There came rumors that summer," R'dek continued finally, "that something had angered the raiders. It may be that another village tried to fight back, and that some of the raiders or their horses had been killed. I do not truly know what it was, but that year it was different. It was horrible."

R'dek swallowed and began to tremble slightly in Rodne's arms and Rodne pulled him closer, wrapping them both in another layer of furs.

"They came at dawn, without warning," R'dek spoke so quietly now that Rodne could barely hear him. "And they did not even ask for the food they usually came for. They just began burning… and killing… everyone that crossed their paths. Women, children, elders… it did not matter.

"My father sent me to hide in the place he always sent me to, in the wood pile near our hut. He wanted my older brother to go with me, but he wouldn't. He wanted to fight." R'dek swallowed again, for his voice had gone a little unsteady, and Rodne only waited silently, rubbing his hand over R'dek's shoulder.

"My mother would not leave the hut," R'dek continued after a moment. "And there was nowhere she could hide anyhow, for she would not leave my little sister, who would not stop crying. She would not come out even when they set fire to the hut…" R'dek's voice trailed off again and Rodne found himself trembling with horror.

"My father pulled the pile of wood down over me when I hid, but it was so close… I could see the light of the fire when the hut burned," R'dek went on. "I could hear my mother's screams, and the things the raiders said… what they would do to her if she came out. My father's voice, screaming in anger and despair as he saw her die… as he fought them… But they caught him… I think he wanted to die but they caught him and then…"

Now, suddenly, Rodne realized what came next, and what it was that had caused R'dek's evil dream to return, and his heart felt sick. "Oh gods, R'dek… no…" he choked.

R'dek had his eyes shut tight, though the tears he wept slipped down his cheeks anyway, and he continued to speak, determined to open this most painful memory in the hope of banishing it.

"They threw him over the wood pile," Radek whispered, his voice trembling, "no more than two hand spans from where I hid, and they… they used him… they took him… not one man but many… so many… I could hear him screaming, begging, begging to die… and I was close enough to touch him, but I dared not…"

The force of the awful memories stole R'dek's speech at last, but after only a moment he forged ahead, determined to finish.

"And when they had taken what they wanted," he managed at last, "they killed him. They cut his throat… so that the blood… so much blood, it ran down into the wood pile and… and I never dared to move… even when my father's blood fell onto my face…"

"Oh gods, R'dek," Rodne cried, pulling his lover close to lay his head on his shoulder as he wept silently. "Oh gods, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry… This is all my fault. I never should have asked you… oh gods I'm so sorry."

"No, Rodne," Rodne was surprised to see R'dek lift his face, wet with tears, to answer him. "It is not your fault. How could you have known? I did not even know… I thought that the passing of time would destroy the power of these evil memories, but I see now that I was wrong, and this I needed to know."

"R'dek, if I hadn't brought it up, it might never have bothered you again," Rodne countered.

R'dek shook his head. "As long as it lives in me, it will find a way to haunt me. I want it gone, and now I know that it will never be enough just to wait for time to starve it to death. I will have to kill it… and Rodne… I think I may know how, now.. but I will need your help."

"Anything," Rodne answered instantly. "Anything you need from me R'dek, I swear, I'll do it."

R'dek smiled a little as he reached up to touch Rodne's cheek with affection. "It's not so much, I think. I only… if you will let me do as you asked me to do last night… If you promise me that this can be done gently, with pleasure for both… this is what will destroy the evil dream, Rodne; this is what will redeem my father's memory."

Rodne drew back to regard his lover carefully, blinking in the dim light of the banked fire. "R'dek… are you sure?" he asked. "It seems to me that that's what started it all."

"And that is what will finish it," R'dek replied. "Trust me, Rodne. This much I am certain of."

"Um, okay," Rodney said, his head swimming a bit with the import of what was being asked of him, and what was being offered. "You'll need to build up the fire, enough that you can see good, and for warmth too."

R'dek nodded and drew himself away from the close comfort of Rodne's arms to do that while Rodne rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and tried to think of what else they would need. Kip, he recalled as he thought back, always kept his hands soft for milking his goats, and his nails were always cut short and smooth. It would be best, he reflected, if R'dek's were too, at least to start with.

"You should probably make sure your finger nails are, um, not too long or rough," Rodne suggested as he set the pot of goose fat close to the fire to warm up a bit.

"My fingernails?" R'dek asked from besides the quickening fire, looking back at him with a questioning expression.

"You'll, ah, need to use your fingers, um… in me, at first… to, ah, to loosen me up?" Rodne stumbled through his explanation. "Since it's, you know, been a while…" Rodne was pretty sure that Kip had generally used his fingers to loosen Rodne up first, only because he'd had to when he used to fuck his goats and didn't know any other way. It had made a world of difference for Rodne however, he knew, and he was thankful for it, whatever the reason.

"Oh," said R'dek thoughtfully. "Alright, that makes sense, I suppose." He went over to where he kept his knapping tools and pulled a few out, working by the fire with silent concentration for a few moments, and then lifted both his hands to examine them in the fire's light before offering the to Rodne. "Is this all right?" he asked.

R'dek's hands weren't as soft as Kip's had been, but Rodne had come to love them in all their agile beauty. Now, in the growing fire light, he saw that R'dek had trimmed all his nails neatly and cleaned them too. Rodne lifted the fingertips to his lips, stroking them across the soft skin to test for sharp spots or snags that his eyes might have missed, but he found none. "Perfect," he said softly as he kissed them adoringly.

R'dek's shy smile only inspired him to reach for more, drawing him close to kiss those elegant lips, and he could feel how nervous R'dek was. Usually R'dek was the confident one in these activities, calming Rodne through his nervousness and uncertainty. Now, though, it seemed that their roles would be reversed, and Rodne realized that he would have to be the calm and confident one. Feeling R'dek tremble a little in his arms, Rodne knew that he could do that; he could give R'dek what he'd been given so many times. It was the least that he could do.

"You are sure?" Radek asked now, lifting his head to meet Rodne's eyes. "You are certain that this is something you want?"

"I'm the one," Rodne reminded him, "who brought this all up in the first place, remember?"

"Because it is pleasurable for you," R'dek clarified, "and not out of any sense of obligation or gratitude?"

"R'dek, I liked it when Kip was doing it to me," Rodne explained, "and it made me feel a little sick, because he was just using me, and I knew it and I still wanted it." He reached out to touch R'dek's face again. "This is going to be so different, so good…"

R'del looked at him steadily, gray eyes still troubled. "I do trust you, Rodne, I promise you… but I want to understand… how it can be good… how there can be pleasure for you in this?"

Rodne frowned, trying to find words for what it was he wanted… why he had gone so far as to ask for this. "When…" he began, "when I felt Kip inside me… the feeling of being filled, full… it's a good feeling… I don't know if I can explain why… but there's also a… a place where his cock would sometimes touch me… inside, that feels… it's… I swear, R'dek, it's almost as good as having your mouth on my cock."

There was a curious light in R'dek's pale eyes now, and Rodne welcomed it. R'dek's curiosity was wonderful, and it always heralded good things. "Yes?" he asked, clearly intrigued.

"Kip used to hit it… just by chance sometimes, and sometimes I could shift myself so he'd hit it more, but he never cared if I felt good or not." Rodne laid both his hands on R'dek's shoulders as he spoke, wanting him to understand everything. "But you," he continued, "you've always cared, and… you would find that spot right away and make me feel it every time… Gods, R'dek, you could probably make me come without even touching my cock. Just fucking me like that."

"Truly?" R'dek asked, the firelight dancing in his eyes and revealing a conflicted eagerness. Rodne wanted to draw it out, wanted to see R'dek all eager and filled with desire for this, for him.

"Let me show you," he said, laying back in the furs and lifting his knees, revealing a cock already half hard with anticipation. "You'll see, it's going to be so good, for both of us."

R'dek's eagerness did not fade, but there was some confusion in his expression as he regarded Rode now. "Won't you need to be… lying the other way?" he asked.

"Nuh-uh," said Rodne, shaking his head. "I made Kip do it this way so I could touch my cock easier, but I want you to be able to see my face, to see how good it is for me."

"Oh," said R'dek, a smile, growing from shy to delighted on his face as Rodne watched. "Yes… I would like that very much."

"And I'll get to see your face too," Rodne continued, "get to see how good it is for you when you feel me around your cock, all hot and tight and slick…"

R'dek sucked in a long breath, all the uncertainty gone from his features, replaced by arousal and desire. "Show me what to do…" he murmured unsteadily.

"Okay," said Rodne, handing R'dek the pot of goose fat and pulling his knees further back, rendering himself open and exposed before his lover. "You need to start with just one finger and use lots of goose fat. I haven't done this in… a while, so I'll be kind of, um, tight."

R'dek took the goose fat and shifted himself to kneel between Rodne's thighs, then set the pot down and regarded Rodne intently for a long moment. Rodne was about to ask what the matter was when R'dek leaned over his body and kissed him, hard and deep. Rodne moaned softly into the kiss, feeling the heat pouring off of R'dek's body where it arched over his. Eventually R'dek broke away from Rodne's lips, kissing his way down Rodne's body till he came to his cock, now fully hard and erect. R'dek kissed his way down Rodne's cock too, causing Rodne to arch his back and groan, and then he sat back, caressing the insides of Rodne's thighs with those graceful, clever fingers.

Rodne was panting softly when he finally felt R'dek's finger, slicked with copious amounts of goose fat, gently probe at his entrance. "That's it," Rodne breathed. "Go on…"

There was a faint burn at first, as R'dek's finger pushed it's way inside, but it was a slender finger and Rodne's body quickly adjusted. It quickly remembered the pleasure that came with such intrusions as well, and he moaned softly. R'dek's expression had been uncertain when he'd first pressed his finger into Rodne, but it eased at Rodne's sound of desire, and the sparkle returned to his eyes.

"Yeah… that's it," Rodne breathed. "Now just move it in and out a few times… and spread the fat around… mmm, yes… just like… like that…"

Glancing down, Rodne could see R'dek's own cock slowly growing hard, and determined to inspire it further. "When… when you feel me around… your finger," he said between breaths, "think about… about how I'll feel around your cock… about how it will feel… to be inside me…"

"Rodne…" Radek murmured, eyes very bright now, and his cock standing rigidly erect.

"Yeah… oh yeah…" Rodney said, grinning with pleasure and satisfaction to see R'dek's arousal. "Now… now a second finger… with more goose fat… and work on… on stretching… hmmm… oh yes… You've.. you've got the idea…"

And he did. The man was nearly as brilliant as he was, after all, and had already figured out the best way to gently stretch Rodne's opening with his two fingers, liberally spreading more goose fat as he did.

"Gods I want to feel you inside me," he gasped. "Want to feel your cock in me… making me so full… There's nothing… nothing like it…" R'dek's gaze was intense now, both lustful and attentive, and Rodne figured it was time for another pointer.

"Now," he said, struggling for coherency, "I want to show you where that… place is… that feels so good… You need to… to turn your hand so it's facing up, and push in as deep as you can… yeah, yeah… like that." Rodne closed his eyes and drew a long breath, pulling his scattered thoughts together enough to give good instructions.

"Okay, now…" he continued, "curl your fingers just… just a little and pull out… slowly… slowly… oh _gods!_ " And there it was, and Rodne was lifting his hips, back arching in ecstasy as he moaned long and loud.

"Oh my," R'dek exclaimed softly, all his focus on Rodne, as though he were one of the flints he coaxed into various forms with such skill. "It is... it is here?" he asked, moving his fingers in and out again to find and caress that spot once more.

"Yes… oh gods, yes… fuck, R'dek," Rodne wailed. "Want… want you in me… just… one more finger… you need… I need… stretch a little more…"

Rodne was painfully aware that the coherency of his direction was failing fast, but R'dek seemed to have the idea now, and so maybe that was all right. He felt R'dek's free left hand on his torso, moving over his chest and toying briefly with his nipples, as his other fingers left Rodne's body for a moment, and then returned with more goose fat and an additional finger. Rodne sucked in his breath to feel the stretch, at how good it felt even if it was just a little painful, and closed his eyes in bliss.

R'dek continued to work him with skill, pressing his three fingers further and further in at each slow thrust, until Rodne could tell that they were in as far as they could go and he was as relaxed as he was going to get for now. Then R'dek's hand was on his face, bringing him back to focus and confirm what would happen next.

"Yeah…" Rodne said, blinking and collecting himself. "Yeah… that's good. I want you now… gods it's going to be so good… And you'll use lots of goose fat, right? On you and all around on me…"

"Yes, Rodne," R'dek said with a smile, and then shook his head in astonishment. "You are showing me things… I would never have guessed… that there could be such pleasure in this… And to see your pleasure… I never imagined that I would want such a thing, and I do now, so very much… Gods above, I want to be in you, Rodne."

Rode felt his heart leap at R'dek's words, but his look turned serious as he met his eyes, holding him for a moment before he continued. "R'dek," he said, "there is something I want you to be ready for. I do want this, and it's going to be really, really good, but it's also going to… to hurt… a little.. at the start… just because it's been a really long time… And it will get better, right away. You'll just need to give me a minute to get used… to you, and then… then it's going to be so good…"

"Rodne…" R'dek's gaze darkened and he frowned a little, but Rodne reached up to grip R'dek's arm tightly, compelling him to meet his gaze.

"It's going to be good, R'dek, I swear," he urged. "It's going to be incredible, and I only told you that so you'd know I wasn't keeping anything back. Remember, I asked for this, and I know you aren't going to hurt me. You'd never hurt me. You couldn't. Please… just trust me?"

R'dek held his gaze, steady and unwavering. "You felt very tight around my fingers," he said.

"And you felt how I loosened up, right?" Rodne reminded him. "Now think how tight I'm going to feel around your cock, how I'll loosen just a little, so it's good for me too, and then you'll be able to move and touch that place inside me with your cock. Gods it'll be so good… so good that I'll come just from that, without you even touching my cock… Let me show you… please. R'dek…"

"You want this," R'dek said, desire coloring his voice at last.

"Yes, yes," Rodne almost whined. "Gods you have no idea how much I want this."

"And I want to give it to you," R'dek said at last, and Rodne finally noticed how R'dek had been slowly stroking his cock, coating it with generous quantities of goose fat.

"Gods, yes," Rodne moaned, grabbing his knees to pull them back, opening himself for R'dek. He soon felt the hard flesh of R'dek's cock pressed against his opening, pushing hesitently. Eagerly, Rodne pushed back, and then R'dek's cock was entering him, forcing its way past the tight ring of muscle at his entrance and Rodne gave a choked cry, partly in pain, and partly in relief to feel himself being filled again.

Above him, R'dek stilled, a slight frown creasing his brow. Rodne reached up to stroke a hand over his arm, reassuring him. "It's okay," he gasped. "It's good… just… just give me a little bit… just a… oh gods…" Rodne could already feel himself relaxing to accommodate R'dek's cock, and let his knees fall back, pushing it a little deeper.

R'dek gave a surprised little sob at the sensation, and Rodne felt him start to tremble as he fought to hold himself back.

"It's okay," Rodne whispered again. "You can… you can move, just… just take it slow to start… yes… oh yes… oh gods that's good…" Little by little, R'dek pressed himself further inside, till Rodne was filed completely and the full length of R'dek's cock was buried in him.

R'dek's pale blue eyes were wide with astonishment and desire, his lips parted as he panted softly. "Rodne," he moaned. "Gods, Rodne…"

"Go on," Rodne gasped in reply, so happy and so _full_ as he had not been in too long. "Go on… fuck me… touch me… in that… in that place… Do it, R'dek… do it… gods I want it… so much…"

R'dek gave an inarticulate cry, and then did just that, pulling out slowly and then thrusting back in, slowly but steadily, and Rodne groaned loudly to feel the hard flesh of R'dek's cock moving in and out of him. He did it again, but this time changed the angle slightly and, _oh gods_ , there was the spot.

"Fuck, oh fuck, yes!" Rodne shouted, so that there could be no doubt in R'dek's mind that he'd found what he was aiming for.

R'dek made a sound that was half laugh and half sob, and he grinned with joy. "I have it?" he gasped. "Yes, I have it; I have it… oh gods Rodne… so good…"

There were no words after that, only gasping and little moans and sobs, as R'dek slowly fucked Rodne with increasing confidence and fervor. Without thinking, Rodne found his legs coming to hook over R'dek's hips, allowing him to fuck him back, thrusting his own hips and impaling himself deeper still on R'dek's cock. R'dek's hands clutched in the furs on either side of him, supporting him as thrust ever harder into Rodne's more than willing body, but Rodne found his hands roaming, not in the least tempted to touch his own cock. Instead he was caressing R'dek's shoulders, his face, fingers trailing down to gently pinch his nipples.

R'dek cried aloud at the sensation, thrusting deep, the head of his cock pressing hard against that special place. Rodne felt it start then, miraculously, without a finger laid on his erect and weeping cock. There was the heat that originated in his balls beginning to spread, sweeping through him like a fire through dry tinder. There was his voice, breaking high, in that way he'd always found a bit embarrassing but not tonight, presaging the moment of release, and then… there was his body, shuddering, the hot seed surging from him, and R'dek's eyes wide with amazement, watching.

His lover gave a surprised shout and then followed, and Rodne thrilled at the warm feeling of R'dek filling him… in a way that he'd never felt when it was Kip doing this. R'dek's elbows gave way as the tremors came at the conclusion of his climax, and he collapsed on top of Rodne, gasping in exhaustion and astonishment.

Eventually, he moved to pull himself off, and Rodne cautioned him, mindful that R'dek was still inside him.

"Careful," he said. "Just go slow and… aaah, there, there… its okay."

"You are aright?" R'dek asked, concerned.

"Oh gods, yes," Rodne reassured him. "Way better than alright."

"But… it hurt you…" R'dek puzzled. "I could see…"

"And your jaw aches after you've been sucking my cock for a long spell," Rodne pointed out, "I see the way you massage it. Doesn't mean it's not good, right?"

Rodne observed R'dek taking that in, considering it, comparing, and then he nodded. "Okay," he said thoughtfully. "I had not thought of it like that before."

Rodne smiled and pulled R'dek in close, laying his head on his chest. "Am I going to have to take back everything I said about how brilliant you are?" he asked.

He felt R'dek smile and gently kiss his throat. "I cannot be brilliant about everything, you know… not like you."

Rodne laughed softly against R'dek's hair at that, squeezing him tight. "But seriously," he said, "that… that was just… it was better than anything, R'dek. Better than with anyone, ever."

"Gods, Rodne," R'dek said softly, then reached up to draw Rodne into a deep and passionate kiss. When they parted Rodne could see R'dek's eyes, bright with unshed tears. "Hey," Rodne said softly. "You okay?"

"You…" R'dek said, his voice thick with feeling and gratitude. "You have redeemed my father's memory. You have helped me to destroy an evil vision which has held a piece of my heart since I was a child…" R'dek shook his head. "And you have shown me a new pleasure… so magnificent… I do not have words."

"Well, you know," said Rodne, a little undone by the strength of R'dek's feeling. "The pleasure thing, that was mutual… in a big way."

"Good…" said R'dek, nestling down at Rodne's side, beginning to drift toward a sleep that he knew now would be free of evil dreams. "That is very good. We will do it again… soon, I think."

"Oh yeah…" murmured Rodne, starting to drift himself. Thinking of when 'soon' might be, he considered that they were likely to remain snowbound for another day, at least, with little to do but eat and sleep and pleasure each other. This reflection sent Rodne into the relms of sleep anticipating only the most pleasant of dreams, and by the time that Spitt wandered back into the cave, shaking the snow off her fur and making herself a nest in the furs between their feet, Rodne and his lover were both fast asleep.


	7. Chapter 7

"Gods I hate Spring."

This had been Rodne's refrain upon waking the last several rainy mornings, and the days following had featured Rodne at his worst, in R'dek's experience. At first he'd figured that it had to do with the unremitting rain and overcast skies that had held sway for the last several days, but Rodne had endured longer spells of bad weather without descending into such a foul mood. Eventually, R'dek began to worry that it was his presence that had Rodne so irritable. Maybe, he feared, Rodne had finally come to miss his solitude, in spite of what he had said at Midwinters. People can't always tell how they will feel with the passing of time, R'dek knew, and if Rodne was tired of him… then he ought to go, and leave the man in peace.

As the days passed, however, and Rodne's mood stayed dark, it became evident that if it was R'dek's presence that was troubling him, Rodne wasn't going to say anything about it. He probably felt that he'd made R'dek a promise, and wasn't going to go back on it, even if he regretted it now. R'dek did not at all wish to be an unwelcome guest, though, and realized that if the air was to be cleared, he would have to make the first move. R'dek finally nerved himself up to ask the question whose answer he did not really want to hear, after a day where all of Rodne's conversation had come in single syllables. The man looked as miserable as R'dek felt, and he knew it was time to put an end to both their suffering.

"You know," R'dek said as he finished his bowl of stew which had featured the last of their wild rice. "If you have come to regret asking me to stay, I will understand. You did always seem to value your solitude, and maybe you underestimated how much you would miss it. It is not so unexpected, really."

"What!?" Rodne's reaction was not the one of relief that R'dek had expected at all. Rather, there was a look of alarm on Rodne's face as he took in R'dek's words. "No, gods no; that's not it at all…" Rodne set down his food, which he'd only been picking at anyhow, and laid his head in his hands.

"I know I've been an absolute asshole for days, I know," he said, unhappily. "But its nothing to do with you, I swear, R'dek." Rodne looked up then, and his expression was stricken. "Please… oh gods, please don't go. I'll try… I don't know how, but I'll try to do better, I just… Springs are really hard for me, and I never… just… please don't go…"

"No, no, of course not," R'dek said softly, moving to sit at Rodne's side and lay an arm over his shoulder. "Not if you don't want me to. But can you tell me what is troubling you? Why is Spring such a bad time? If I could understand…?"

"Oh gods, there's so many things," Rodne said with a forlorn sigh, laying his head on R'dek's shoulder. "The weather sucks, of course, and I won't be able to make any good observations for a moon or more… Spring is when I always start to run low on good food, and the trail to Lakeside is a mess so we won't be able to get any more for a while… Also… I have some… some really bad memories, too, from other… other Springs… And Spring is when… when… the… the fits… they always come in the Spring."

R'dek let his hands gently stroke Rodne's hair, hoping to calm the man, who he could feel trembling slightly in his arms. It seemed that Rodne had his own evil memories to contend with, though R'dek supposed that he shouldn't be surprised. Perhaps if he could get Rodne to share them with him, he could give the man some relief. And then there was the last thing he had said.

"What… fits? What do you mean?" R'dek asked.

Rodne didn't answer right away, but lay against R'dek's side with his eyes closed for a moment before he spoke. "They happen… two or three times most Springs, sometimes more," he replied at last, with another sigh. "I don't really remember what happens when they come. I just… well, I fall down, and I guess I thrash around a lot… Sometimes I bite my tongue." Rodne's voice held such resignation, it pained R'dek's heart. The man thought so much of his dignity, and clearly even speaking of this meant surrendering it.

"They never last terribly long… and then I… sort of wake up," Rodne continued. "And I feel like crap for two or three days after." He sighed. "I guess it's better that you know, in case it happens when you're around. Could be kind of alarming if you didn't know."

R'dek secretly vowed not to leave Rodne's side for more than a few moments for the duration of the season. He would not allow Rodne to suffer this alone again, if he could help it. "Have you always had these… fits?" he asked aloud. "Do you know why they only happen in the Spring?"

Once again, Rodne remained silent for a spell, then drew himself away from R'dek's side to take up a stick and poke at the fire they sat before, coaxing the flames a little higher. He pulled his knees up and wrapped his arms around them so that he sat gazing into the fire close to R'dek but not quite touching him. "I have an idea, yeah," he answered at last.

"If you do not wish to speak of this…" R'dek began, but Rodne shook his head.

"You… you've shared your bad stuff with me," he said. "It's only fair. And maybe…" Rodne shook his head, contesting with a hope he seemed to think futile. "Maybe it will help, a little. I've never… never told anyone about most of it."

"Whatever you wish, Rodne," R'dek said gently, reaching out to touch Rodne's shoulder for a moment. "What ever you would like to share with me, I am happy to listen."

"I should probably start at the beginning then," Rodne said, his voice flat, resigned, yet he hesitated before beginning. "Spring… Spring was when my parents left me." Rodne said at last, then fell silent again after that, prodding at the fire once more, not to any real effect but, R'dek suspected, to have something else to focus on for a moment. He waited in companionable silence for Rodne to continue.

"Our village was flooded," he said eventually. "The creek rose during the night and had carried half the families away before we had any idea. When we gathered the next morning, those of us who were left, I was the only little kid who'd survived. I had six, maybe seven summers by then… I was never sure."

Rodne lifted the stick he'd been using to prod the fire and gazed for a moment at the little coal that glowed on its end. He stared at it until the coal went out, and then set it down on the floor again.

"They all decided to leave," he continued, "because it looked like the creek was going to take the rest of the village before too long, so everyone collected whatever was left, which wasn't much, and headed down the trail. No one had any idea of where we were going, I think. They just knew we couldn't stay there any more."

Even as Rodne tried to keep his voice level and unemotional, R'dek could not fail to hear the loneliness and sorrow hidden in his words. He wanted to hold the man, and the lonely, frightened child lost in his memories, but Rodne had drawn himself away, needing this small amount of isolation to bring his tale to light, and so R'dek left him his space.

"By the second day I knew I was slowing them all down," Rodne said after another small pause. "My parents tried to carry me for a little while, but no one had very much food… They just weren't strong enough, and I was too big to be carried anyway… but I couldn't really keep up either. My mother kept telling the others to wait… but by the third day people were starting to give both my parents… looks. They thought I wouldn't notice… wouldn't know what it meant, but… well, I was always a little smarter than people expected."

R'dek lowered his head into his hands, knowing what came next, but dreading to hear it anyway.

"So, on the fourth morning," Rodne carried on with a little sigh, "I woke up by the fire alone. All they left me was the clothes I was wearing and a single piece of hide, and my mother probably had to fight with them to let me keep it. They couldn't afford to leave me with any food." Now Rodne fell silent again, picking up the fire stick once more to stir it amongst the coals at the fire's edge.

"I don't really blame them," he said, gaze locked on the patterns the stick made. "They did what they had to. Even then I understood. I was a smart kid." Rodne let the stick fall from his fingers, lowering his head to rest on his arms where they wrapped around his knees once again. "It wasn't anyone's fault," he added quietly. "It just happened."

R'dek wanted to cry, Rodne's philosophical resignation more painful to hear even than the tragic events he spoke of. That he had survived was a miracle, but R'dek had a sorrowful feeling that the price of that survival, which he had yet to hear of, would break his heart even more.

"I knew I had to find food," Rodne's words seemed to be coming on their own now, flowing from him without any volition. "So I headed back the way we'd come, because I knew that we'd passed a little settlement the day before. The man there had driven us off, said he had no place for us… but there had been people there, so I knew there had to be some food, and I was already really hungry. It took me most of the day to get there, and when I came to the biggest hut and called out to ask for help the man there told me to piss off. He didn't even come out of his hut to see who I was."

Rodne broke his narrative only briefly for a sigh, then went on. "So I sat down in the mud and started to cry… and I stayed there until the man's wife came in from the fields and saw me. She felt sorry for me… and I must have looked pretty pathetic because I hadn't eaten all day and I'd been sitting in the mud crying for hours… so she gave me some stale bread and then went in and told the man that she wanted to keep me. There was a big fight… and I almost ran away again, but the woman had given me food so I figured there was a chance… And in the end the man said that I could stay, but that I had make myself useful, and I'd have to sleep with the dogs, in a shed out behind the hut." Rodne fell silent again for a moment, though he did not move either, then he drew another breath and continued.

"And that's where I lived for the next eight summers."

"Surely," R'dek said after a moment, needing to fill the silence, "you mean in that village, not…" But Rodne was shaking his head.

"No, no," he said, so unemotionally he might have been speaking about somewhere his cat slept. "I slept in that shed with that asshole's fucking dogs for the next eight years." R'dek found himself struck speechless, and could only wait for Rodne to continue.

"Gods I hate dogs," he said eventually. "I hate the way they smell, the annoying noises they make, their wretched little hierarchies and social rituals…" He trailed off for a moment, then reflected, "Still, those damned dogs probably cared more for me than anyone else in that shit-hole of a village. It was the most miserable place I've ever been."

"Something must have happened to the men there, some time in the past," he said after another short pause, "because when I first came all the other men there, besides the man with the dogs, they were either pretty young or crippled, and they were all afraid of him. His kids were even afraid of him, but that was probably because he beat them whenever he was in a crappy mood, which was every few days or so. They were mighty pleased when I happened along, because that meant that he might end up beating me instead of one of them, and because whenever he was being shitty to them then they could turn around and be as shitty as they wanted to me."

Radek had passed through settlements like this in his travels, and he never stayed. They were ugly, despairing places and he would much rather sleep under a bush and take his chances with wild animals than subject himself to a night in such a place. The fact that Rodne had endured eight summers in one such explained a lot about him.

"His wife hated him too," Rodne continued. "And they fought all the time, especially when he wanted sex and she didn't, which was almost always. Even the dogs hid from him after one of those fights… and they were always the worst in the Spring." Rodne lifted his head to scrub at his face, scratching his hair and beard, as though chasing some remembered sensation away.

"It was in my fifth Spring there, after one of those fights… and then that day one of his favorite dogs came in from the woods all torn up… He cared more for those fucking dogs than he did for anyone else… and she died later that night." Radek could tell that even now, the horror and dread of those memories still lived in Rodne's heart, and he seemed to actually be cringing as he related what happened next.

"His kids all knew to hide at times like that… even his wife had someplace else to stay… but I didn't. It was Spring, and it was cold and rainy, and I didn’t have anyplace else to go but the dog shed, and he knew that. He came and found me there, and he… he pretty much beat the living shit out of me."

R'dek felt his hands curl into fists, in helpless rage against a man who was probably years dead already. He bit his lip to stop himself from crying out in sorrow at what Rodne had endured, for Rodne had not yet finished his tale, and R'dek knew he had to finish it, uninterrupted.

"I don't really… remember much about it now, of course," Rodne said, speaking softly, but still carefully neutral. "But I couldn't see quite right, or walk straight for more than a half a moon after that… And I'm pretty sure that's when the fits started."

"Dear gods…" R'dek said softly, in spite of his resolve not to interrupt Rodne's narrative, but his horror could not be contained. Rodne's genius could have so easily been snuffed out, or damaged for life, by this vile creature. Rodne seemed not to notice the interruption, though, or he didn't care. He was lost in his own narrative now, compelled to continue.

"I don't know why I didn't leave, after that," he said. "I mean, yes, I wasn't really myself for moons after that beating, and then it was Winter. Then the next Spring was the first time I had the fits… And by then the man's wife had kind of started looking after me. Not that she cared about me, really, but I worked harder, and was way smarter than any of her own kids, and she was starting to get old, and needed help with a lot of things." Rodne lifted his head to gaze into the fire again. "And I didn't really have anywhere to go."

"How did you finally come to leave, then," R'dek eventually asked, knowing he'd never be able to rest until he knew how Rodne had gotten out of that wretched place.

"Oh, that was because of Leeta," Rodne laughed humorlessly. "Which is pretty funny when you think about it. After all the abuse and everything I'd put up with… it was a girl, who never even treated me that badly, that finally got me to leave." Rodne shook his head in chagrin. "But whenever anyone hit me or kicked me… or called me 'dog boy'… I always told myself that I could leave, anytime… When I realized what Leeta wanted, though… I realized that I would never be able to leave… I'd be stuck there forever… and that scared me so bad, I took off in the middle of the night, and I never looked back."

R'dek waited in silence for several long breaths before he succumbed to temptation, too caught up in the tale not to. "What… what did she want?" he asked at last.

"A baby," Rodne said bluntly. "And to be honest, she might have actually gotten one, but I didn't stay long enough to find out." Rodne picked the fire stick up once more, pushing the logs together to bring the fire up again. "And I suppose that makes me some sort of asshole, too, leaving her like that with a kid of mine to care for alone. She had a… a hare lip, and was the one other person in the village who was treated almost as bad as me, and she told me… on the last night we were… together, that if she had a husband and a baby then the others would have to treat her with a little respect."

Rodne dropped the fire stick and lowered his head again, speaking softly now, his words tinged with shame. "But I didn't want any of that. I was a boy with only fourteen or fifteen summers, and all she told me she wanted at first was sex. How was I supposed to say no to that?"

R'dek found that while he could listen to Rodne speak of loneliness, pain, humiliation and sorrow, he could not bear to hear his shame. He moved finally, to wrap him arms around his lover and pull him close, laying his head on his shoulder and letting the words of comfort he had kept inside all along spill out at last.

"No, no, no… miláčku…" he murmured. "You have done nothing wrong… only what you had to… only what you needed to survive… Do not ever let anyone tell you otherwise."

R'dek felt Rodne's arms tighten around him, felt him tremble with all the emotions his wretched memories had left him with, and found that he wanted to match every blow that Rodne had received with a kiss, counter every rough word with a kind one, and determined to start now.

Holding Rodne in his arms, R'dek told him that he was kind and beautiful and brave and ever so brilliant, and kissed him on his face and throat and over his heart, which R'dek told him was greater than any heart he had ever known. Eventually, actions won out over words and R'dek dragged Rodne back to the bed to love him within an inch of his life, and little by little he could see Rodne's ghosts being driven away, for now.

Curled close to his lover as they fell asleep that night, R'dek reflected that Rodne's evil memories would not be so easily exorcised as his own, as bad as his were. Too much of what Rodne had suffered in his youth had left lasting scars, the fits being among them. Still, he was aware that his presence in Rodne's life was doing more to silence Rodne's old ghosts, and ease his sorrows, than anything he'd ever had in his life before.

R'dek had seen and done many fine things in his life, he knew. He had traveled far, learned much, and partaken of many joys and many sorrows. It said much, then, to own that being a companion to this man might be the finest thing he had ever done, but R'dek was increasingly sure that it was. What was more, he thought, even if he never did anything finer in his life, he knew he would be more than well satisfied. Harboring such thoughts, holding close to this man, R'dek found it easy to succumb to sleep, and so he did.

~*~

While the weather remained problematic for the next moon or so, and Rodne's mood remained dark, R'dek could tell that he strove to mitigate how much R'dek bore the brunt of it. R'dek was touched to see this, and for his part found that he could endure much of it philosophically, understanding as he did now, where it sprang from.

R'dek watched carefully for any signs of the fits Rodne spoke of, and while he meant his attention to be surreptitious, he suspected that Rodne wasn't fooled. He didn't object either, however, and R'dek wondered if maybe he wasn't secretly comforted to know that he was being looked after. He hoped he was.

Rodne had mentioned his condition once again, as they had come to discuss the increasingly meager contents of their pantry. He told R'dek how he had learned that the absence of certain foods, especially fresh greens, seemed to bring them on with greater frequency, and so had gotten into the habit of seeking out these foods as early as possible in the Spring. To that end, he explained, he had discovered certain high meadows which tended to free themselves of snow sooner than the others, where he could find a kind of wild onion that he found himself craving at this time of year.

As the weather began to give them the occasional fair day, the two of them would hike to an opening in the trees above the cave where they could see some distance, and Rodne pointed out to R'dek the far off meadows which he watched. After many such hikes, there finally came a day when one of the meadows they had been watching revealed itself in brilliant green, and Rodne told R'dek to prepare for full day's journey the next day (assuming the weather remained fair).

It was, in fact, more than fair and R'dek set out at Rodne's side that morning with a light heart. The air was alive with the smells of newly revealed earth and growing things, bird songs filled his ears, and even if the visual details of the land around him were not clear, the he could still see the pale green and bright yellow colors of new growth here and there, and they were a welcome change from the stark, colorless beauty of snow and ice. Even Rodne seemed to be in a somewhat improved mood, no doubt because last night he'd had the first clear sky to view the stars in a quarter moon or more, but R'dek suspected that getting out of the cave and into the sun was doing him a power of good as well.

They stopped at midday to lunch on dried fish and cold acorn pancakes at a place where they could see their eventual goal, not too far distant. They'd had to cross a few ice crusted snow fields, and plenty of muddy patches to get this far, and now Rodne pointed out that there was one slightly treacherous looking bit of clambering that would be necessary to reach the meadow, but Rodne assured R'dek that he'd made this trip many times, and that it wasn't so tough. R'dek said he'd take his word for it.

When they finally came to the short cliff face they had to climb down to reach the meadow, Rodne went first and then talked a very nervous R'dek all the way down, foothold by foothold. R'dek had no fondness for precipitous landscapes such as this, where sudden drops and other dangers might be too easily missed by his unreliable eyesight. Much of this meadow was bordered by a sharp drop, too steep even for the mountain goats who had left much evidence of their presence here, to manage, and R'dek determined to remain in the middle as he unshouldered his pack and extracted his digging stick.

Rodne was doing the same in another spot, a little closer to the edge than R'dek liked, but there wasn't much R'dek could say about that. Rodne had, after all, been managing on his own without R'dek to look out for him for many years, and so, mindful of this, R'dek focused on the task of spotting and digging up the small wild onions that Rodne had brought them here to find.

Most certainly, R'dek reflected, Rodne was not the only one who craved these small, pungently flavored bulbs just now, and the first few that R'dek found he brushed the dirt off of and ate right there. Dug now, the flavor was not so strong as it would be later in the year, when they were better used in flavoring other foods, and R'dek savored the pleasant, sharp spice as he crunched each bulb between his teeth.

After a long winter of dried foods and the occasional bit of fresh meat, the fresh greens tasted like Spring, and eating them was like letting the Spring sunlight into his body. It filled him with the same energy that brought out all the new life that he could see bursting forth around him, and made him feel just a little bit young again.

A little ways across the meadow, R'dek could hear Rodne's wordless appreciation of this year's first fresh greens, as he too ate the little wild onion bulbs as he was digging them up. R'dek smiled to himself as he worked, now eating every other bulb he dug, and soon enough he had a little pile of them built up. He tended to work in silence, but Rodne, possibly as a result of having lived alone for so long, talked to himself as he worked.

"Ah," Rodne muttered, "here's a nice big patch, good, good… ooh and some healthy sized ones too… yeah, I am so eating this one right now… oh, way to put your knee in the goat shit, genius…"

This remark was followed by Rodne scrambling to his feet and then making his way to the precipitous edge of the meadow to find a hand full of longer grass with which to wipe his knee off. R'dek found himself grinning at the colorful invective Rodne was applying towards the goats as he scrubbed the mess off his knee with the grass in his hand, when he stopped suddenly, looking up as though he'd seen or heard something.

"What…?" Rodne seemed to ask, sounding strangely vague and, though R'dek could not say how he knew that something was wrong, he did, and stood abruptly. He strode quickly towards Rodne, in spite of the fact that that he was standing very close to the edge of the meadow, so that when Rodne suddenly lurched, flailing heedlessly in the direction of the cliff's edge, R'dek was within grabbing distance.

R'dek's first grab at Rodne's wildly swinging arm missed, and for one heart-stopping moment he saw Rodne's knees give way and his body jerk in such a way that would have sent him hurtling over the edge, had R'dek not made a second, desperate attempt. With both arms outstretched, R'dek threw himself at Rodne, grabbing at his legs and getting hold of one. R'dek held on for dear life as Rodne's body thrashed and flailed, and after a moment or two he was able to drag him back, away from the edge of the cliff.

Clear in his mind now as to exactly what was happening, R'dek forced his digging stick between Rodne's teeth to prevent him biting his tongue, wrapped his arms around his lover, and held him firmly. As Rode's struggles slowly lessened R'dek freed a hand to stroke his hair, murmuring soft comforts while he waited for the fit to pass.

"I've got you; I've got you," R'dek chanted softly. "You're safe… you're going to be okay; I've got you." R'dek had a feeling that it was the sound of his voice rather than the meaning of his words that was making any impression on Rodne, but he kept up his litany until the man in his arms fell still at last. He fell so still that R'dek found himself placing his fingers on Rodne's throat in dread, but the pulse of life still thrummed rapidly beneath his touch, and R'dek felt a bone-deep relief.

It was a long while before Rodne stirred, coming to himself with a low moan, and R'dek leaned over to gently kiss his forehead.

"Rodne?" he asked tentatively, not sure if his memory might have been affected by the fit.

Rodne reached up a hand to find one of R'dek's and gripped it weakly. "R'dek?" he asked, sounding drained and a little lost. "I… did I…?"

R'dek nodded, lifting the hand that gripped his to kiss it.

"Fuck," Rodne said quietly, blinking his eyes and looking around as if recollecting just where he was. "I was… I was over…?" He waved his free hand feebly in the general direction of the cliff where he'd been working.

"You were," R'dek said. "I pulled you over here."

"Crap," said Rodne weakly, and then, "One of these days my defects are going to kill me, eh?"

R'dek recognized the words as ones he'd spoken shortly after he'd first met Rodne, when he'd rescued him from the snowstorm, and he shook his head. "Rodne…" he said softly.

"Almost did there, didn't they?" Rodne asked, the unsteadiness of his voice revealing his fear now.

"No," R'dek little more than whispered. "No, I would not let you… will never…" He swallowed, his own fear at what had almost happened setting in at last. "I think… I think I have grown to care about you… very much."

"Yeah," said Ronde, his own voice rough and shaking. "I… I think… me too… Thanks."

R'dek pulled Rodne up to sit, back to his chest, and held him close and tight, feeling the shakes start in Rodne, and Rodne held R'dek's arms with all his remaining strength. They remained there for some time, until the sun came to hover over the horizon, and R'dek knew that they would not want to spend the night on this exposed mountain meadow.

"Rodne," he spoke gently. "If you can move, I think we should leave here before it gets dark. There is no shelter, and no firewood, and we do not have enough clothing to keep us warm when night comes."

"Yeah, I know," Rode agreed weakly. "I think I can manage it, but I'm going to need your help."

"Of course," said R'dek. "Though you will still need to be my eyes."

As far as that went, at least climbing up the steep incline they'd descended to get to the meadow was a bit easier than going down had been. They did it side by side, Rodne guiding R'dek's hands and feet, and R'dek lending his strength where it was needed. Rodne was exhausted and shaking again when they arrived at the top, and R'dek sought out a good camping spot for them, protected from the wind by a dense thicket of brush. He left Rodne bedded down there in a pile of dry leaves for a short time, while he went in search of some firewood.

After he'd returned and gotten a small, warming fire going, R'dek coaxed Rodne into eating the last acorn pancake and some of the onions they'd gathered, while he dined on more of the dried fish. He then piled the leaves deeply around Rodne, laid himself at Rodne's back, so that he lay between R'dek and the fire, and settled in for the night. It was a long cold night, and R'dek slept little, if at all.

The journey back to the cave was difficult and arduous and took most of the day. When they finally arrived, around dusk, R'dek was utterly exhausted and Rodne was barely able to keep on his feet. Rodne hadn't eaten anything all day but a few of the wild onions, and R'dek had had nothing but the last piece of dried fish, and now both of them were too tired to eat. Still, R'dek was certain that Rodne ought to be made to eat something and, after rummaging about in their fairly empty pantry, found the last bit of pemmican.

He returned to where Rodne was dozing in the bed, as R'dek had left him, and he was extremely hard to rouse, making unhappy, complaining noises when he finally did, but R'dek was determined to get him to eat.

"Your body is sure to need nourishment after such an episode," R'dek said, feeding him little bits of pemmican. "And I think it must be a very bad idea for you to sleep now without any."

"Yeah, that's what Caresn always said," Rodne answered, leaning tiredly into R'dek's side as he fed him. "Oh, yeah, and there's some herbs he said I should take too… the little green jar at the back of the pantry… it has some dried herbs in it that he gave me to steep in hot water and drink whenever I've had one of my fits."

"So that's what that is," R'dek replied with a little smile, and went to get them. He spent the next three days nursing Ronde, coaxing him to eat the fresh acorn flour pancakes he made, and the broth made from the dried fish and wild onions. He made Rodne's herb drink and even went out and gathered fresh pine greens, after they'd eaten all the onions, and then made Rodne eat them. They weren't terribly good, R'dek knew, but he'd eaten them before when he'd found himself craving fresh greens at Winter's end, and he was fairly sure that they were something Rodne ought to have now.

By the end of the third day, however, R'dek could see that some of the sparkle had returned to Rodne's eyes, and the worrisome listlessness that had gripped him since his fit seemed to have departed at last. Other desires seemed to have wakened in the man as well, as R'dek burrowed under the covers to sleep next to Rodne that night, and found Rodne's hands, warm and lively, exploring R'dek's body in a way they had not in several days.

"Thank you," he heard Rodne murmur as his lips caressed the skin under his ear.

"What… what for?" R'dek asked as his own hands touched and claimed territory neglected for too long.

"For… for caring for me… the last few days," Rodne said, pausing in his attentions to meet R'dek's eyes. "It's usually… awful, the days after a fit… Making myself eat, and feeling so crappy… Having someone to take care of me… I've never… well, only once, with Caresn… but I never thought…" Rodne swallowed and lifted a hand to caress R'dek's cheek. "I never thought I'd ever have anyone… who would care… And it's not so bad… with you here."

R'dek had to kiss him then, to say what words could not, that he would always care, and always be there for Rodne, as long as he was able. Rodne's answering kiss was full of gratitude and desire, and love too, though it was a word neither of them had spoken. It was understood now, and R'dek was content.

He was more than content to feel Rodne's dexterous fingers find his hardening sex and stroke it, pleasuring him with all the love he'd spoken of in his kiss. R'dek gave voice to his pleasure and desire without words, letting his body move, his hips thrust, in response to Rodne's touches. It had been too many days since they had last pleasured each other, and in the intervening time they had both bad scares, so R'dek allowed himself to be indulged.

Tonight they would not bother with finesse, would not trouble themselves with trying to draw things out. R'dek simply gave himself over to the pleasurable sensations of Rodne's firm, warm hand on his cock, thrusting in counterpoint to his stroking until he was climaxing, spilling his release over Rodne's hand. Rodne's mouth was claiming his a moment later, stealing his breath before he'd hardly caught it again, but R'dek didn’t care.

When Rodne's mouth eventually relinquished his, R'dek knew what he wanted and dove beneath the furs to find it. Rodne's hard cock filled his mouth like nothing else, and filled his heart in a way he could not explain. As before, his goal was not to prolong pleasure, but to bring release, greedily, as expediently as possible. Rodney's groans were music to his ears, his fingers now clutching at R'dek's hair welcome and desired. Moving his mouth up and down on Rodne's shaft, R'dek sucked and tongued and used all the skills he possessed to bring Rodne pleasure, and soon enough he was tasting Rodne's seed, hearing Rodne's cries of completion.

Emerging from beneath the furs, R'dek found Rodne's mouth again, kissing more gently, both of them feeling relaxed and sated now. Their kissing eventually devolved into sleepy cuddling, and soon enough R'dek found himself drifting, his own compact body curled into Rodne's larger one. His thoughts wandered, as sleep approached, and as he reminisced about how pleasant it was to have his mouth filled with Rodne's cock, it occurred to him that having Rodne's cock fill him in other ways might be fairly pleasant as well. The thought sparked his curiosity, a sensation R'dek knew all too well, and he knew, as sleep claimed him at last, that the question would plague him now, until he finally found its answer.


	8. Chapter 8

A few days later, Rodne and R'dek were surprised to spot a small group of people making their way up the still fairly muddy trail to Rodne's cave. To R'dek they were an indistinct blob moving across the landscape, but Rodne recognized them as villagers from Lakeside.

"Aha," he said. "This will be the first consultation of the year." To his surprise, as he remembered how reluctant Rodne had been about giving these consultations in the past, R'dek found Rodne grinning as he made this announcement. Then, turning to R'dek, he made the reason for his happy mood clear.

"Tonight we are going to eat," he announced, elbowing R'dek in the ribs, "the first decent meal we've had in months."

The party from Lakeside consisted of Rinta, Meera's sister, and Buran and Lerre, two siblings of Hallen's. Meera had, in fact, given birth to two healthy babies –both boys- two moons ago, they happily announced, and preparations were now being made for a naming celebration. They had come to ask Rodne's advice on the most auspicious day to hold this celebration, and to beg a few things from both Rodne and R'dek to place in the twins' medicine bags. Rodne was polite enough to wait till his guests weren't looking to roll his eyes at R'dek, but roll them he did.

The medicine bag request was a new one, but evidently word of the inscribed bit of birch bark Rodne had gifted R'dek with at Midwinters had spread, and now Meera had requested that Rodne be asked to scribe one or two of the symbols he used –whatever he thought appropriate- on some smaller scraps of bark for inclusion in the children's medicine bags. She had a request for R'dek too, which surprised him, but shouldn't have, when he thought about it.

During the time he had spent in Lakeside, R'dek had allowed himself to be goaded by the children who often gathered by the fire to watch him work, into making the 'smallest spear point in the world'. R'dek took more than a little pride in his skill, and succumbed to the temptation to show off, much to the children's delight. The results had attracted the attention of some of the adults in Lakeside, and while there could be no practical use whatsoever for a spear point that could rest on the tip of his pinky, people had been impressed. Now, evidently, Meera had even thought of a 'practical' use for such a thing.

For items of such significance, Meera and Hallen's family were prepared to be generous in their offered exchange, and R'dek found himself grinning right along with Rodne as their visitors opened their packs and laid their trade goods out on the ox hide spread at Rodne's doorstep. There were bunches of new spring greens and a whole basket of wild onions, as well as a generous stack of flat bread, a crock of fresh yogurt and, wonder of wonders, a big block of aged goat cheese. Rodne was so pleased he forgot to roll his eyes for the rest of the visit.

Their visitors offered a dinner as well, in exchange for Rodne and R'dek's contributions to the twins' medicine bags and so, while Rinta went off to speak with Rodne about auspicious dates and Buran sat down with R'dek to choose two of the handful of miniature spear points R'dek had made during his idle moments over the winter, Lerre built up a small fire outside and proceeded to cook up a delicious smelling rabbit stew. It was ready to eat by the time they had all finished their business and, since the evening was a pleasant one, they all gathered at the small encampment the visitors had set up at Rodne's doorstep to enjoy dinner together. After the meal Rinta and Lerre sang for R'dek, who made no secret of his fondness for music, and for Rodne, who did. R'dek got out the flask of lightning water as well, so that when Rinta and Lerre had finished singing and begged for a story, Rodne grudgingly obliged.

It was late when the three visitors finally retired to the tent they had set up on the small patch of new grass near the entrance to Rodne's cave, and Rodne and R'dek retired to their own bed.

"Is this always how it is when visitors come?" R'dek asked, nestling under the furs with Rodne. Rodne shrugged, a gesture which R'dek felt rather than saw.

"More or less," Rodne answered. "I mean, the scribing things are new. I can see that's going to be pretty popular from now on; in fact I'm probably going to be asked for a lot of retroactive ones, but I guess that's not so much of a problem. Just more things people will want to trade with me for."

R'dek nodded. "Buran said much the same thing about the little spear points," he said. "Parents of boys will all want them, and parents of girls, he said, might want to know if I can make a tiny cooking knife. I suppose I had better try making a few."

"Yeah…" said Rodne with a quiet chuckle, and then, after a long pause, "There was one really big difference, though."

"What was that?" R'dek asked, drawing his lover into his arms.

"I've never exactly been… happy… to have visitors before," Rodne said at last. "I mean, I've always been really happy for the food that comes with the first Spring visit. Sometimes I've been close to starving by the time I got my first consultation of the year… but today… today was different. It felt really… nice… to have visitors. Not that I'll mind when they're gone, but…"

R'dek smiled to feel Rodne's arms pull him in likewise. "What has caused this change, then?" he asked.

"You have to ask?" Rodne replied softly, a startlingly tender affection evident in his voice.

R'dek felt Rodne's words resonate in his heart and the warmth they engendered there filled him, body and soul. I have done this, he thought. I am the one who has, at long last, brought happiness to this man. R'dek had no words that kisses would not say better, and so he did, pouring his heart into them. It was late, however, and they had guests camped a little ways outside the door, so kisses were all they shared that night. Hearts full of happiness, they fell asleep in each other's arms and dreamed only pleasant dreams.

Their guests left early the next morning, and Rodne and R'dek made them a parting breakfast. The place seemed a little quiet in their passing, but Rodne soon proposed that the two of them go out and check their trap lines, and perhaps set some new ones, since the day was so fair. Among the mountain forests above Rodne's cave, the air was filled with Spring bird song, and the seeming silence of their residence was soon forgotten.

The cave, when they returned to it late that afternoon, did not seem so lonely or quiet any more, and their own conversation, as they roasted up the couple of squirrels they'd found in their traps, was more than enough to fill space. Uncharacteristically, Rodne hardly complained at all when a Spring fog rolled up the mountainside while they ate their dinner, and occluded the stars that Rodne might have watched that night. This likely meant, R'dek thought, that Rodne had other things on his mind, and he was more than happy to indulge him.

The meaningful glances Rodne kept throwing him as they put the food and cooking things away confirmed R'dek's suspicions, but also gave him time to reflect on the question he had posed to himself the other night. As much as he loved taking Rodne's cock into his mouth, might he also enjoy letting it fill him in other ways? There could only be one way to learn the answer to that question, so when Rodne trotted back to the pantry to get the pot of goose fat and R'dek knelt by the fire to build it up, he also turned over in his mind how he might propose this to Rodne, and worked on nerving himself up.

He must have born somewhat of a pensive look on his face when Rodne found him, settled comfortably among the furs on the bed, for his own expression was questioning as he lay down beside him.

"I can always tell when you're thinking," Rodne said, fingers lightly caressing R'dek's thigh. "But I can never tell what you're thinking about."

R'dek let himself smile in amusement, lest Rodne fear he was troubled about something. "I am," he said, "thinking about trying something new, tonight."

"Oh?" Rodne asked, his curiosity piqued. "Like what?"

R'dek drew a breath, trying to hide his nervousness. "As you have shown me how much pleasure can be had in… in being… taken… as I sometimes take you now…" R'dek paused, knowing his next words could change much between them. "I would like to try… to let you… I wish… to feel you… inside me… as you have been able to feel me… I want this… I think… Anyway, I would like to try it."

Rodne's eyes were wide with astonishment, his lips parted softly, as the hand on R'dek's thigh stilled.

"R'dek…" he choked out. "Are you sure? I mean… this is something you truly want?"

"I cannot know if I will like it until I have tried," R'dek answered, "and I very much would like to know… would like to try. That is all I can say for certain."

"It's… it's kind of scary, the first few times," Rodne cautioned. "You should understand. I mean, with Kip it was scary for me because I didn't really know a thing about him… and I didn't… really… have much of a choice in the matter. But it was more than that." Rodne furrowed his brow as he sought to explain himself.

"The first few times you feel something… inside you, like that," he ventured finally, "you… your body… it just doesn't feel 'right', even if it doesn't hurt. There's not supposed to be anything *going into * you there, if you know what I mean."

"But it also feels good?" R'dek asked to clarify.

"Gods yes," Rodne affirmed whole-heartedly, "but you also… you feel really vulnerable… helpless, sort of, and that's scary."

R'dek nodded, gradually getting the idea. "I trust you," he said simply in reply.

R'dek could see Rodne swallow, his eyes a vivid blue in the firelight, and he reached a hand up to gently caress R'dek's cheek. "You're incredible, you know that?" he asked.

"Well," said R'dek, a glancing away at the praise, "I am not the only one."

Lifting R'dek's tunic off (they'd both done away with their leggings and loin cloths before coming to the bed), Rodne gently pressed R'dek back into the furs, kissing him and caressing the length of his body. R'dek was content to lie back and enjoy the experience, letting Rodne lead the way. He sighed happily at Rodne's touch and his kisses, moving languorously among the furs.

Soon enough, Rodne shifted his attentions to R'dek's nipples, licking and nibbling until R'dek was writhing with pleasure. Rodne's hands, in the mean time, were gently stroking R'dek's rapidly hardening sex, so that soon R'dek was feeling nothing but pleasure and arousal. He wanted… anything, everything that Rodne would give him.

He moaned loudly when Rodne lowered his head to lick the length of R'dek's cock, taking the head of it in his mouth and tonguing around the foreskin. One of Rodne's hands was now reaching up to toy with R'dek's spit slicked nipples, while the other… the other was reaching for the pot of goose fat. R'dek blinked back to awareness of what was to come, evoking a flutter of anxiety in his chest. Yes, he had wanted this, had asked for it, but still…

"Shh," Rodne calmed, lips brushing against his ear. "I'm gonna go real slow, and if anything isn't good… if it hurts, or you just decide you don't like it, you let me know, and I'll stop. You know you don't have to prove anything to me, right?"

"Yes, yes," R'dek breathed. "I know you will be careful. I know I can trust you, and I do. Still… I am a little nervous, yes?"

"That's okay," Rodne said with an affectionate smile. "It's okay to be nervous. Real soon it'll be good, so good, that you won't be able to think about anything except how incredible it feels to have my cock inside you… Gods R'dek this is going to be so good…"

"Yesss," Radek moaned softly, arching his back, because Rode's hand was wrapped around his cock again, stroking it slowly while the fingers of his other hand were pressing the sensitive place behind his balls. One finger was now very slick with goose fat, and those slick caresses in that place sent shivers of unexpected pleasure through him.

When the finger moved further back still, to gently circle the puckered flesh of his opening, R'dek stiffened for a moment, then gasped in surprise at how very good it felt. He saw then just what Rodne had meant when he'd said he would go slow, for now that finger was only anointing the whole area with goose fat, seeing to it that ever surface was covered. He continued to slowly stroke R'dek cock as he did so as well, keeping R'dek in a state of pleasure and arousal to assure that he remained as relaxed as possible.

Radek was surprised to hear a small sound of disappointment and loss escape him as Rodne removed the fat slicked finger, but it was back again a moment later, with a renewed quantity of goose fat. R'dek groaned quietly in welcoming.

"Is that good?" Rodne asked with a pleased smile. R'dek nodded, wordless with astonishment. "Okay, ready for me?" he asked now, his eyes intense, and R'dek nodded again.

Rodne's finger circled his opening once more, eliciting another groan of pleasure from R'dek, then began to probe gently, which felt strange but arousing as well. Then it was pressing more firmly, breaching the tight ring of muscle and entering him, just a little ways in. R'dek made a surprised sound, feeling only the slightest burn at the intrusion, and then Rodne began to move the finger, sliding it in and out a few times, so that it pushed deeper into him each time, and pressing at the sides of R'dek's passage, loosening his opening and spreading the goose fat everywhere.

Before long, Rodne had his forefinger inserted as far as it would go into R'dek's body, and began to gradually fuck him with it, moving it in and out in the same rhythm with which he was stroking R'dek's cock. R'dek began to pant softly, lost in the strangeness of the sensations and how surprisingly nice it felt.

"How's that now?" Rodne asked.

"Good…" R'dek gasped, "and… strange. I don't… I don't know why it's good… but it is."

"As long as its good," Rodne breathed, his lips brushing over R'dek's cock. "Think you're ready for another finger?"

"Yes," moaned R'dek, feeling how easily Rodne's one finger was moving in him now. "Yes, I am ready."

The burn from two of Rodne's fingers pressing into him was more pronounced, and R'dek began to know that feeling of vulnerability Rodne had spoken of. They were stretching him, filling him, intruding into his body, and R'dek lay very still to let them. As before, Rodne began to move his fingers slowly in and out, turning them and spreading them apart to open R'dek further. This brought the burning sensation back and R'dek made a small, pained noise. Rodne stilled his fingers at the sound.

"Is it too much?" he asked.

R'dek shook his head. "No…" he gasped. "Only… it burns a little… but not too much."

"Yeah, it'll do that at first," Rodne said. "Here, let me show you why it's worth it." The look on his face became very intent for a moment, and R'dek could feel the fingers inside him press deeper, deeper, and then shift just a little, and…

"Gods! Rodne…" he cried, back arching as waves of liquid pleasure surged through his body. Never, ever in his wildest imagining would he have guessed such intense pleasure could be instigated at a single touch. R'dek's cock was rock hard and rigidly erect, precum seeping copiously from the tip, and he wanted, he wanted… "Please…" he moaned.

"Good, isn't it?" Rodne asked, grinning widely. "Now, imagine how good it'll feel when it's my cock touching you there?" R'dek could not help but imagine it now, imagined Rodne's thick cock in him where only two fingers moved now, pressing deep and… oh gods…

"Yeah, oh yeah…" Rodne murmured as R'dek groaned loudly in response to Rodne's fingers touching him *there* again. He leaned forward, fingers still deep inside R'dek's body, to kiss him, to taste the pleasure from him, and share the joy R'dek could see in his eyes.

"Yeah, that's loosened you right up," he said when the kiss ended. "Gonna go with a third finger now. You ready?"

R'dek nodded, trying to prepare himself for the discomfort without tensing up. The emptiness he felt when Rodne's two fingers slipped out surprised him. He wanted them back, wanted to know the feeling of Rodne inside him again, and he let a small whimper escape.

"Won't be long now," Rodne murmured as he liberally coated the first three fingers of his right hand more with goose fat. "Gonna stretch you wide open with three fingers; gonna fill you so good." Rodne turned back to him now, caressing the insides of his thighs gently.

"Won’t by anywhere is big as my cock though," he continued, a world of promise in his voice. "Nothing can fill you like a cock, nothing so good, so much inside you." Now Rodne's fingers were pressing at his entrance, and even as R'dek could tell that it would hurt and burn as they went in, he wanted them, and thrust his hips to push against them.

"Gods you are incredible," Rodne breathed as he pressed hard to push his fingers past R'dek's tight entrance. He gasped at the intrusion once again, welcoming the fullness even as the stretched muscle burned. R'dek breathed past the pain, focussing on Rodne's other hand, stroking his thigh, cupping his balls.

"You are going to feel so good around my cock," Rodne crooned softly. "So tight, so hot, so slick. I am going to fill your ass with my cock, fill you so good, fuck you so good…"

Radek moaned, the burning at his entrance forgotten as Rodne's words fired his imagination, his hands on R'dek's sex filed him with pleasure, and the three fingers pressing ever deeper into him filled him… just filled him and it was so good… so very good. Now using three fingers, Rodne fucked him, slowly and gently, each inward thrust pushing a little deeper.

Intellectually, R'dek knew that his opening was capable of stretching to accommodate much more than Rodne's three fingers, yet even so, it seemed to R'dek that he was being stretched impossibly wide. It was, as Rodne had warned, just a little terrifying to let someone do this to him, but at the same time… gods… with every penetration of Rodne's fingers R'dek found himself wanting more, wishing Rodne's fingers would go deeper, fill him more completely. The mixture of pleasure, pain and fear was heady, intoxicating, and R'dek knew he would never be the same again.

"Please…" he moaned again as Rodne's fingers thrust deepest of all, pressing into him as far as they would go. He pressed back, pushing himself onto Rodne's hand to take him deeper still.

"Soon, now…" Rodne murmured. "You're almost ready for me… almost ready for my cock." He spread his fingers inside R'dek's body, opening him further, stretching him painfully, and R'dek welcomed it. He heard Rodne's breath hitch as well, and realized that as he worked R'dek's opening with one hand, he was coating his own hard flesh with generous quantities of goose fat with the other. He was really going to do this… really take Rodne's cock inside him, and he felt both terrified and aroused beyond belief.

After a little while R'dek could feel that Rodne was spreading his fingers as wide as he could in R'dek's opening, and that the burning sensation had passed entirely. Blinking up at Rodne, R'dek could tell that his lover had made a similar determination. Stilling his hand, Rodne met R'dek's eyes with his own, intense and direct.

"Tell me you want this, R'dek," he said, voice low and dark. "Tell me you want my cock in you, that you're sure."

"I am sure," R'dek said, his own voice rough, but mostly steady. "Please… I want it… I want your cock… I want to feel it inside me."

"Oh gods…" Rodne moaned. "I can't believe you really… oh gods this is going to be so good." He slipped his three fingers free of R'dek's body then and R'dek felt them depart with a pang, for they left him even emptier than before. He would not be empty for long though, he knew, and even as he thought this he felt the blunt pressure of what had to be Rodne's cock pressing against the place where the fingers had just been.

It seemed impossible at first. Even stretched by Rodne's three fingers, R'dek was sure that his opening could not possibly accommodate the thick cock demanding entrance… but everything was so slick with goose fat and Rodne kept pressing, pressing, holding R'dek's thighs wide open and pressing harder still and then… something gave way.

R'dek gave a sharp cry as Rodne's cocked finally pushed past the tight ring of muscle guarding his opening, and it did burn, and stretched him… surely it was too much; surely it was more than he could bear, but Rodne held still now, crooning soft comforts and gently stroking his face.

"That's it; that's it," he murmured. "You've done it; you've let me in. Just give it a little bit and it will be better. It's okay; you're okay…"

R'dek became aware that he was whimpering, small broken sounds escaping his throat, but Rodne was right. The ache and burn of penetration was fading, rather quickly, and now he could begin to take in the sense of being filled. He had done it; taken Rodne into his body… but it was only a little way, and there could be more, much more. Slowly, his whimpers transformed into pants, and his arousal, shattered momentarily, was returning with enthusiasm.

"You ready for me to move now?" Rodne asked, and R'dek nodded, not sure he had any words at the moment. The sensation of Rodne' hard flesh pressing further into his body was surprising, but also… filling him so wonderfully. And it seemed to go on forever, Rodne's cock pushing deeper and deeper, until R'dek finally felt his balls brush against his ass, and knew that Rodne was all the way in him, as deeply as he could go.

So much of Rodne was inside him… It still felt impossible, and frightening too, just as Rodne had said it would, but also, so very good. Gods, he was so full, and nothing in his life had ever felt so wonderful. His panting breaths were building to moans now, and above him, Rodne's forehead was beaded with sweat.

"You've done it," he breathed. "You've taken all of me, I'm in you; I'm in you, oh gods R'dek… it's so good, so tight, so hot…"

The sudden realization of the pleasure he was giving Rodne, who had been so careful of him all along, burst upon R'dek's awareness like a ray of sunshine. His own pleasure seemed to double upon itself as he realized this, the flesh enclosing Rodne's cock pulsing with delight.

"Oh gods, R'dek," Rodne cried, his voice broken with pleasure. "I… I… please…"

"Yes," R'dek said, understanding what Rodne was asking and wanting it himself, though he had no more words than Rodne did. "Yes," was all he could think to say. "Yes, yes, yes…"

Rodne began moving slowly, carefully drawing his cock almost all the way out of R'dek's body, then paused and equally slowly, thrust back in. The sensations of the veins and ridges of Rodne's long, thick cock passing over the tight muscle at R'dek's opening nearly drove him insane. He moaned loudly and instinctively lifted his legs and hooked them over Rodne's hips. R'dek quickly found that this position allowed him to impale himself even more deeply on Rodne's cock by arching his back and thrusting his hips. It was almost too good to be borne.

"Oh gods… oh fuck, R'dek," Rodne groaned. "So good… damn, so good… wanna show you… show you…" And he shifted a bit, angling his cock a little differently and then… R'dek's whole world seemed to dissolve in pleasure.

It was as if lightning water coursed through his bones, as though his very blood was made of pleasure and nothing else. R'dek cried out loudly, his back arching in sheer pleasure which had the additional effect of driving himself harder onto Rodne's cock.

"Yeah," said Rodne breathily, "Oh yeah… found the spot, didn't I?"

R'dek made an inarticulate, needy noise by way of affirming this, and Rodne chuckled and did it again, pulling out with careful, deliberate slowness and sinking back in, making sure that the head of his cock stroked that special place deep inside him once more. Wailing with ecstasy, R'dek arched and thrust and grabbed at the furs beneath him helplessly. His cock spasmed and wept, aching to be touched.

"Gonna… gonna fuck you now," Rodne gasped. "Gonna fuck you so good… make you come… make you come around my cock… So tight and hot and… oh gods R'dek…"

True to his word, Rodne settled into a regular rhythm after that, not too hard or fast, but steady, and hitting that special spot nearly every time. R'dek wanted to beg Rodne to touch his cock but the words had been driven right out of him. He made several garbled attempts and finally came out with, "Please… oh gods, please…"

Rodne seemed to know what he wanted, though, flashing him a grin between panting breaths. Shifting to support his weight on only one arm, Rodne lifted the one he'd freed –still slick with goose fat- to wrap around R'dek's hard cock and stroke it in rhythm with his thrusts. A moment ago R'dek could not have imagined it possible to feel more pleasure, but here was a whole new level of bliss, suffusing his whole body, inside and out. R'dek began to tremble, feeling his completion draw near, and moaned aloud with every thrust of Rodne's cock into his body, every stroke of Rodne's hand on his cock.

"Yes, yes, yes…" Rodne was chanting as he thrust, his own body covered in a sheen of sweat. "Almost… yeah… almost… wanna feel you come… so hot… gods, R'dek… come around my cock… do it, do it…"

As if commanded by Rodne's words, R'dek felt himself give way, breaking open and spilling his pleasure out in hot, liquid pulses, escaping between Rodne's fingers. As his body shuddered through its completion, he could also feel it contracting and seizing around Rodne's cock where it still moved deep inside him. The feeling of fullness, of connection that this brought, drew the pleasures of his climax right down into his very soul.

All but shattered with ecstasy, R'dek watched Rodne release his cock to place his weight back on both his arms and thrust, hard, two or three times, and then saw his face go slack with pleasure.

"Yes, yes…" he choked, almost sobbing, and then, "oh gods, oh gods, R'dek…!" Above him, Rodne's body convulsed in completion, and within him, R'dek could actually feel the hot pulses of Rodne's release. Once again, the sensations, and the knowledge of what they meant, seemed to strike deep into R'dek's soul, impossibly prolonging the bliss of his own climax.

After a moment or two Rodne's arms gave way and he collapsed to lie on top of R'dek, propped up slightly by his elbows so that his weight did not crush him, and he let his head fall to rest on R'dek's shoulder. R'dek felt and heard their panting breaths mingle as he felt a droplet or two of Rodne's sweat fall on his chest, and his own spending cooling on his belly. Shortly, these things, like Rodne's softening cock still lodged in his body, would become discomforts, but for now, moving was impossible, and would break the ebbing bliss that still held him.

It seemed to R'dek as if a whole new world had been opened to him, as though Rodne had lead him by the hand and taken him walking through the stars he knew so well. He felt as if he had been undone and remade, from the inside out. As the inertia of his fading ecstasy lessened somewhat, R'dek followed the impulse to lift his hand and lay it on Rodne's head, caressing the rough cropped hair with his fingers.

"Thank you," R'dek murmured, finding words to express a small part of what he was feeling.

Rodne gently pressed his lips to R'dek's chest by way of answering, and then lifted himself a little ways, with some effort. "I know I need to move," he said, "and it'll be a little… uncomfortable for you for a second…"

R'dek nodded, still feeling languid and relaxed in the wake of his climax. There was a sharp ache for a brief moment as Rodne pulled free, and he winced just a little, making a small pained noise, but then it was done and only the faintest lingering ache remained.

Rodne slipped off to one side and curled his body around R'dek's, pulling him close into his arms. "You are incredible, you know," he said, kissing the back of his neck.

R'dek turned his head so that he could kiss Rodne full on the lips and they fell to kissing for a good long time, hearts too full for words. Eventually, a post-coital lassitude overcame them both and they let their kisses trail off, R'dek tucking himself close to Rodne's chest as Rodne enclosed him in his arms. It was all too pleasant to let themselves drift off into sleep just yet, however, so they lay, curled together, listening to each other's slow and steady breaths, to the faint crackling of the fire and to the Spring breeze stirring the ox-hide at the door of the cave.

Eventually R'dek heard Spitt push past the hide at the door and come to sit at the foot of their bed, scratching and washing herself for a few moments before she climbed in with them, finding her usual spot between their shins to settle and fall asleep. Eyes closed, R'dek felt rather than saw Rodne reach his arm down to scratch the cat between her ears, and in the quiet of the cave, the rumbling purr which came as a result seemed almost loud.

Feeling the sense of contentment and affection sink deep into his soul, R'dek found the word 'family' suddenly present itself in his mind, like the chiming of a bell. The word 'home' asserted itself shortly after, and a sudden truth broke over R'dek then, like the dawning of a new day.

It was Spring, and for the first time since he had left the little violence ravaged village he had grown up in, R'dek was not preparing to set out on another year's travels. Springs had always come with a sense of both excitement and anxiety for him in the past, and while Radek would not miss the anxiety of stepping out onto another unknown road, with yet another unknown guide, it was hard not to feel a little wistful about never setting out on a new voyage again.

Still, R'dek knew that he had a whole new world to explore with Rodne right here, and while he might come to miss traveling from time to time, he knew his tools would do the traveling for him now, and that was really for the best. The two young hunters he had spoken to at Midwinters, Marak'm and Sitakhus, would take the tools he had made over the winter and return with trade goods and tales that R'dek would not have had to risk his own life for, and that, he was sure, would prove to be a very satisfactory arrangement for everyone involved.

Most marvelous of all though, R'dek reflected, was the knowledge that he would never have to rely on an unknown and untrustworthy guide again… not as long as Rodne lived, anyhow. What was more, he would never again have to feel beholden or indebted when he needed to ask for help. Rodne was his freedom from that onus, forever, as he for his part, had made it possible for Rodne to know the meaning of friendship, and that he had friends -more than he'd realized. These were gifts each one was pleased to give the other, and they'd given them freely, from the very beginning, neither one knowing, at first, the great value of what they were giving.

R'dek felt Rodne stir then, lifting his hand away from where he pleasured the cat and laying it over R'dek's heart. Now Rodne's lips brushed the edge of his ear and whispered words so quietly R'dek could barely hear them.

"I… I do love you, you know," he said, and then kissed him.

R'dek felt his heart constrict and he clutched tightly at Rodne's arms where they circled his waist. "I do know," he said, lifting one of Rodne's hands to kiss it, "and I love you too… you know."

This was home, R'dek thought, and family -things that both of them had thought lost to them forever, long ago. He knew that Rodne did not believe that the stars guided men's lives, and he didn't either, really, but it was true nonetheless that the stars had brought them together after a fashion. How could he not feel grateful, then, R'dek reflected, to the stars above and to the flints that lay in the earth outside Lakeside and which had called him here from afar.

At the moment, of course, R'dek was feeling grateful for a lot of things, from the old uncle who had raised him after the raiders had killed his parents and taught him the art of flint knapping, to the foolish young guide who'd abandoned him here to become lost and find Rodne. He was even grateful for Kip the goatherd, for having saved Rodne's life, and taught him at least one pleasure, however selfish his reasons.

The fellow traveler who'd taught R'dek about the number marks many summers ago (another thing for which R'dek was deeply grateful) had once suggested to R'dek that the universe was a perfect creation, from the stars above to the fires in the earth's heart below. R'dek had been pretty dubious about the theory then, but he found himself willing to entertain it tonight. Rodne had shown him perfection wheeling above their heads, and in his own heart -so bruised and battered by fate that it was a wonder it still beat.

Tonight Rodne had shown him a pleasure more perfect than any he had ever imagined, and now, as he lay in his lover's arms R'dek found that his own life had become a fairly perfect thing as well. Maybe, R'dek mused as sleep finally stole over him, maybe he could believe in a perfect universe, and maybe love was all it took to make it so.

 

=FIN=


End file.
